Category: other

An eagle is circling at about 5,000 feet when he spies a field mouse down below him.

He dives down and eats the mouse.

After a little while, the mouse works his way out of the eagle’s butt.

Proceeding to look around the mouse says, “Tail gunner to pilot…Tail gunner to pilot…”

The eagle says, “What do you want?”

The mouse asks, “How high up are we?”

The eagle thinks for a moment and then says, “Ohh, about 5,000 feet.”

The mouse then replies, “You wouldn’t be shittin’ me now would ya??”

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman

Yo’ mama so fat, mountain climbers climb the Himalayas for practice before
climbing her!

Un Doctor acababa de tener una larga sesi�n de sexo con uno de sus pacientes. Mientras descansaba comenz� a sentirse un poco culpable, pues pensaba que lo que hac�a no era �tico. En eso un peque�o demonio apareci� sobre uno de sus hombros y le dijo: “Tranquilo, muchos doctores tienen sexo con sus pacientes; ya ves, t� no eres ni el primero ni el �ltimo.”

Esto hizo sentir al doctor un poco mejor, hasta que otro demonio apareci� en su hombro y dijo: “S�, idiota, pero los otros doctores no son veterinarios.”

What is OJ Simpson’s web site address?

O-dot-J-dot-slash-slash-backslash-backslash-escape

After Dallas Cowboy’s wide receiver Michael Irvin got caught with drugs and prostitutes, the Cowboy’s owner Jerry Jones called him in and said, “How many times do I have to tell you, we do endorsements for Nike and Pepsi, NOT NOOKIE AND COKE!”

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Tantilazing

What’s black and brown and looks good on a lawyer? A Doberman Pinscher.

What do Chinese people name their retarded children?

Som Ting Wong

THIS WOULD BE METhe judge called the case of People vs. Steven Lewon Crook. The bailiff opened the door to the holding cell and called, “Crook, come forward.” Five of the prisoners entered the courtroom.

A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breasts in the mirror. He asks, “What are you doing?” She replies, “I went to the doctor today, and he told me I have the breasts of a 25 year old.” The husband retorts, “Well, what did he say about your 50 year old ass?”She replied, “Frankly dear, your name never came up.”

The first Irish National Steeplechase was finally abandoned. Not one horse
could get a decent footing on the cathedral roof.

Q. Why don’t polish women use vibrators?

A. It chips their teeth.

There was an Irishman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Tasmania. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Irishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Englishman had his hand against his face as he had been slapped there. The Englishman was thinking: “The Irish fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.” Claudia Schiffer was thinking: “The English fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Irishman and got slapped for it.” The Irishman was thinking: “This is great! The next time the train goes through a tunnel I’ll make another kissing noise and slap that English idiot again.”