Category: other

A girl had devised a device to cause any car that passed in front of her house to suddenly break down, but couldn’t find any practical way to profit from it. So, thinking clearly, she set up the device, and as the cars passed the house and broke down, she’d offer the man in the car a place to stay for the night.

Then as soon as the man was asleep, he’d be jarred awake by her with his penis in her mouth, and she’d hold a sign up saying “$50 or I’ll bite hard!”

Of course usually the guy would pay and she’d let him go. Well one day a Polish guy’s car broke down, and had to stay the night. Sure enough, he felt something between his legs at night, and there she is with him in her mouth and holding the sign, “$50 or I’ll bite.”

The polish guy just smiled and said, “$100 or I’ll piss!”

Q: why are there no mexican olympics?

A: Because anyone who can run jump or swim are allready in the U.S.

Q: Why did only 200 mexicans cross the border today?

A: Because they only had one van.

Q: How do you find out the population of mexico?

A: Drop a quarter on the ground.

Q: How do you find the richest man in mexico?

A: Who ever found the quarter.

Q: What should the new name for mcdonalds be called?

A: McMexicans

On Christmas your a hoe hoe hoe,
and your probably going to go go go
have sex with a guy named Moe Moe Moe
this guy Moe Moe Moe
will turn out to be a homo mo
and try to blow blow yo

Despu�s de haberse cometido un robo en el convento de monjas, se present� la Polic�a.
Pregunta el Polic�a:

“�Qu� es lo que se robaron Madre Superiora?”

“100 s�banas.”

“Anote eso”, dice el Polic�a al secretario.

Todas las otras monjas dicen en Coro:

“�Y nos quer�an envenenar!”

Contin�a el polic�a:

“�Otra cosa que les robaron madre?”

“�Ah! S�… se robaron unos vasos.”

“Anote eso”, dice el Polic�a al secretario.

Otra vez el coro de las monjitas:

“�Y nos quer�an envenenar!”

El Capit�n se queda pensativo y pregunta:

“�C�mo es eso que las quer�an envenenar?”

Es que los ladrones nos dec�an: “�Si no se callan les echamos unos polvos!”

It was announced today that Canada is now prepared to help the United States in its war against terrorism.

They have promised to commit 2 of their largest battleships, 6000 armed troops, and 60 fighter jets.

However, after the exchange rate, that comes down to a canoe, 2 Mounties, and a flying squirrel.

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by BreeBrown

What quality does the best secratary in the world have?

She never misses a period.

A college business professor could not help but notice that one of his students was late to class for the third time that week.

Before class ended he went around the room asking students some questions about the day’s lecture. Of course, he made sure to pick on his tardy pupil.

“And Mr Reebs, would you be so kind as to tell us who it was that developed the theories behind communism?” the professor asked. “I don’t know,” said the student.

“Well, perhaps if you came to class on time, Mr. Reebs, you would know,” said the professor.

“That’s not true,” the student protested. “I never pay attention anyway!”

a lady went to the dr. with enlarged libia lips.the dr. said i can trim themand solve this. the lady said ok but he must not tell ANYONE. he says he wont.the morn after the operation she woke with three roses in her arm.i told you not to tell anyone.what are these roses? well one is from me,one is from the nurse.well who the hell is the third one from? oh a guy on the third floor with a new pair of ears

A guy goes into the store and tells the clerk, “I’d like some
Polish sausage.” The clerk looks at him and asks, “Are you
Polish?” The guy, clearly offended, says, “Well, yes I am. But
let me ask you: if I had asked for Italian sausage, would you
ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German sausage,
would you ask me if I was German? Or if I had asked for a taco,
would you ask if I was Mexican? Huh? Would ya?” The clerk says,
“Well, no.”

With deep self righteous indignation, the guy says, “All right
then, why the HELL did you ask me if I’m Polish just because I
ask for Polish sausage?” The clerk says, “Because this is a
hardware store.”

Three older ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and can’t remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich.”

The second lady chimed in, “Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can’t remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down.”

The third one responded,” Well, I’m glad I don’t have that problem, knock on wood,” as she rapped her knuckles on the table, then told them “That must be the door, I’ll get it!”

A man goes into hospital for a vasectomy.

When he wakes up he’s surrounded by several anxious looking doctors and asks nervously “Is there a problem?”

The head surgeon says gently, with tears in his eyes, “I’m afraid so…I’m sorry but your notes got mixed up and we’ve given you a sex change rather than a vasectomy.”

The patient is devastated and shockingly replies “Do you mean to say I’ll never experience another erection?”

The surgeon pauses for a moment then says “Well, you might, but it won’t be yours.”

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis

Virginity likes bubble, one prick, all gone.

Man who run in front of car get tired?

Men who run behind car get exhausted.

Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

Foolish man gives wife grand piano, wise man
give wife upright organ.

Man who walk through airport turnstile
sideways going to Bangkok.

Man with one chopstick go hungry.

Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.

Panties not best thing on earth but next to best thing on earth.

War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.

Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.

Men who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

It takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.

Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.

Men who fart in church sit in own pew.

Crowded elevator smell different to midget.