Category: other

Four men were on the top of Mount Everest.One was chinese, one was spainish, one was white and one was black. The chinese guy said,”this is for my people,”and jumped off the mountain. The spainish guy said,”this is for my people,” and jumped off the mountain. The black guy said this is for my people,” and threw the white guy off the mountain.

What is the best thing about marrying a dutch man???

On your honey moon they give you something long and hard……………Their last name.

Did you hear in the news that a 747 recently crashed in a cemetery in Poland?

The Polish officials have so far retrieved 2000 bodies

A mother, accompanied by her small daughter, were in New York City. The
mother was trying to hail a cab, when her daughter noticed several wildly
dressed women who were loitering on a nearby street corner. The mother
finally hailed her cab and they both climbed in, at which point the
daughter asks her mother, “Mummie, what are all those ladies waiting for by
that corner?”, to which the mother replies, “Those ladies are waiting for
their husbands to come home from work.”

The cabbie, upon hearing this exchange, turns to the mother and says,
“Ahhhhhhh, C’mon lady!!!! Tell your daughter the truth!!!! For crying out
loud. They’re hookers!”

A brief period of silence follows, and the daughter then asks, “Mummie, do
the ladies have any children?”

The mother replies, “Of course dear. Where do you think cabbies come from?”

Q. What did George W Bush get on his S.A.T.’s?A. Drool.

Cierto d�a, Pepito se estaba ba�ando con su padre y le pregunt� que qu� era eso que le colgaba en la entrepierna; el pap� le dijo que era un drag�n.

Otro d�a, se estaba ba�ando con su mam� y le pregunta que qu� era lo que ten�a en la entrepierna; la mam� le contest� que un drag�n.

Esa noche, Pepito estaba espiando por la cerradura del cuarto de sus pap�s y lleg� su hermana:

“�Qu� haces”, le pregunta.

“Estoy viendo una pelea de dragones”.

“�Y qui�n va ganando?”

“�Mam�, porque se comi� al de pap�!”

A young punker gets on the cross-town bus. He’s got spiked,
multicolored hair that’s green, purple, and orange. His clothes
are a tattered mix of leather rags. His legs are bare and he’s
without shoes. His entire face and body are riddled with pierced
jewelry and his earrings are big, bright feathers. He sits down
in the only vacant seat, directly across from an old man who
just glares at him for the next ten miles.

Finally, the punk gets self conscious and barks at the old man:
“What are you looking at you old fart? Didn’t you ever do
anything wild when you were young?”

Without missing a beat, the old man replies: “Yeah. Back when I
was young and in the Navy, I got really drunk one night and had
sex with a parrot. I thought maybe you were my son.”

A woman arrives home from work and her husband notices she’s wearing a diamond
necklace. He asks his wife, “Where did you get that necklace?”
She replies, “I won it in a raffle at work. Go get my bath ready while I start
dinner.”

The next day, the women arrives home from work wearing a diamond bracelet. Her
husband asks, “Where did you get the bracelet?”

She replies, “I won it in a raffle at work. Go get my bath ready while I start
dinner.”

The next day, her husband notices she arrives home from work wearing a mink
coat. He says, “I suppose you won that in a raffle at work?” She replies, “Yeah
I did! How did you guess? Go get my bath ready while I start supper.”

Later after supper, she goes to take her bath and she notices there is only
one inch of water in the tub. She yells to her husband, “HEY! There’s only an
inch of water in the tub.” He replies, “I didn’t want you to get your raffle
ticket wet.”

Whats better than winning a Gold medal at the Special Olympics?Not being retarded!

You get kicked out of all-you-can-eat restaurants.

Se suben dos m�dicos a un elevador y ven que se acerca r�pidamente un paciente que camina arrastrando un pie.

Le dice uno de los m�dicos: “Disculpe amigo, pero aqu� mi compa�ero cree que usted tuvo lesi�n de neurona motora superior y yo digo que fue de inferior.”

Y le contesta el hombre:

“�Pues los tres nos equivocamos, porque yo cre� que era pedo y fue caca!”

MARS AIR FORCE DENIES STORIES OF UFO CRASHValles Marineris (MPI) – A spokesthing for Mars Air Force denounced as false rumors that an alien space craft crashed in the desert, outside of Ares Vallis on Friday. Appearing at a press conference today, General Rgrmrmy The Lesser, stated that ‘the object was, in fact, a harmless high-altitude weather balloon, not an alien spacecraft’.The story broke late Friday night when a major stationed at nearby Ares Vallis Air Force Base contacted the Valles Marineris Daily Record with a story about a strange, balloon-shaped object which allegedly came down in the nearby desert, ‘bouncing’ several times before coming to a stop, ‘deflating in a sudden explosion of alien gases’. Minutes later, General Rgrmrmy The Lesser contacted the Daily Record telepathically to contradict the earlier report.General Rgrmrmy The Lesser stated that hysterical stories of a detachable vehicle roaming across the Martian desert were blatant fiction, provoked by incidences involving swamp gas. But the general public has been slow to accept the Air Force’s explanation of recent events, preferring to speculate on the ‘other-worldly’ nature of the crash debris. Conspiracy theorists have condemned Rgrmrmy’s statements as evidence of ‘an obvious government cover-up’, pointing out that Mars has no swamps.