Excerpts from actual letters sent to landlordsOur lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces. The person next door has a large erection in his back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous. Will you please send someone to mend our cracked sidewalk? Yesterday my wife tripped on it and is now pregnant.
Category: business
He who hesitates is not
He who hesitates is not only lost, but miles from the next exit.
If at first you don’t
If at first you don’t succeed, well…darn.
Ignorance is bliss. No
Ignorance is bliss. No wonder I’m so depressed.
If an item is advertised
If an item is advertised as “under $50”, you can bet it’s not $19.95.
There are two ways to
There are two ways to slide easily through life: to believe everything or to doubt everything; both ways save us from thinking.
In order to get a
In order to get a loan, you must first prove you don’t need it.
The easiest way to find
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
If there is a 50-50
If there is a 50-50 chance that something can go wrong, then 9 times out of 10 it will.
When all else fails, try
When all else fails, try the boss’s suggestion.
Sleeping on the job
Things To Say If You Get Caught Sleeping At Your Desk 12. “I wasn’t sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!” 11. “This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!” 10. “I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance”
Lol
OK three people where in a plane. one was
Asian,Mexican and Ameircan the people had
the light the plane cause it was going to
crash
So the Asian throws a bag of rice then the
mexican guy throws a bag of flower and says
he has a lot of these in his country then
the Ameircan guy throws the mexican guy and
says i have a lot of these in my country.