Category: blondes

there was this blonde sientiest that worked for nasa, one day she came to work and everyone she worked with had died their hair blonde just to see if she would notice, she worked her regular day, did her work and started to leave, she had to go out the building and the security guard that just came to work in a shift change had dark brown hair, she started to go through the security gate and she saw the security guard and said you must me new, the guard said no mam i work here 5 days a week, she argued with the guy and said no,this is a blondes only company, every one here is now blonde, they finally realized that we run the world and all went blonde so you need to find a new job. as she left she said blonde power.

Blondie went to a doctor complaining of body pains.

Blondie: “Oh doctor every where I touch it hurts, if I touch my arm it hurts, if I touch my face it hurts.”

Doctor: “Let me take a look at you.”

Doctor: “Blondie your finger is broken.”

Blondie: “Oops”

Submitted by Curtis
EDited by Calamjo

A blonde tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had 250,000 miles on it. One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon. The brunette told her, ‘There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it’s not legal.’ ‘That doesn’t matter,’ replied the blonde, ‘if I only can sell the car.’ ‘Okay,’ said the brunette. ‘Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the counter in your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore.’ The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, ‘Did you sell your car?’ ‘No,’ replied the blonde, ‘why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it.’

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were trying to rob a bank. Just as they were about to leave someone puched an alarm. With two cops chasing the three girls, they ran into a warehouse nearby. In the warehouse were three sacks. Each girl hopped into one. When the two cops arrived they saw the sacks. The first sack was the red head. Her sack had a dog on it. One of the officers kicked it and heard a sudden ruff! ruff!
“Oh, it must be a dog,” he said.
The other officer kicked the second sack, which was the brunette, and her sack had a cat on it. The officer kicked it and heard a sudden meow! meow!
He said,”Oh, it must be a cat.”
Last was the blonde and when the officer kicked it ands heard a sudden “pooooottaaaaattoooo”

How do you make a blonde go crazy?

Place them in a round room, and tell them to stand in the corner!

Sally, a blonde, goes on her first camping trip. Her husband,who was a Scout Leader, was sick so she volunteered to take over for him one weekend. So, she got everyone together and assigned different duties to each scout.

Gabby was responsible for the food supplies, Mike would be the cook this trip, Johnnie was responsible for their maps and making up a time schedule, Tim was to decide on their events, and to fit them into Johnnie’s schedule and Sally would test all their equipmen tbefore setting out.

They arrived at Big Moose Mountain and everyone was excited. They arrived right on schedule and were getting ready for their first event -hiking up the mountain. But first, they wanted to get something to eat. So Sally asked Mike if he would prepare the meal and, of course, Mike said he would.
About 10 minutes later he came back and told Sally, “I can’ tmake the supper. I can’t light a fire with the matches you brought.”

Sally replied, “I can’t understand that. Those matches should be perfectly fine. I tested them all just before we left.”

Q: What do you call a zit on a blonde’s ass? A: A brain tumor.

Q: Why did the blonde fail at being a prostitute? A: Because she gave blow-jobs literally.

Q. Why can’t blondes dial 911?

A. They can’t find the 11 button.

Q: What is the diffrence between a smart blonde and bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been seen.

Q: why don’t they let blondes swim in the ocean?
A: because they can’t get the smell out of the tuna.

There was a Blonde driving really wildly, swurving and
speeding
until a police officer pulled her over and said, “You want to
tell
me why you were driving so foolishly”? The Blonde looks up
at
the officer and says, “Sorry officer but there was a tree right
in
front of me so I was trying to get away from it but it kept
coming up in front of me”! The officer starts to smile as he
says, “Uh mam, thats your air freshener”.