Category: blondes

what does a screendoor and a blonde have in commin? The more you bang them the lose they get

How do you get a one armed blond out of a tree?
You wave at her.

Q: How does a blond know if she’s on her way home or on her way to work?A: She opens her lunch box to see if there is anything in it.

One day this blonde calls her friend and says,
‘Please come over and help me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle and I can’t even figure out how to start it.’

Her friend asks, ‘What is it a puzzle of?’

The blonde says, ‘From the picture on the box, it’s a tiger.’

Well, the friend figures that he’s pretty good at puzzles, so he heads over to her place. She lets him in the door and shows him to where she has the pieces spread all over the table.

He studies them for a moment, then studies the box.

He turns to her and says, ‘Well, no matter what I do, I’m not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of that tiger.’

She asks, ‘Oh, how come?’

He says, ‘Look, never mind, let’s just relax, have a cup of coffee and we’ll put all these cornflakes back in the box.’

How Do You Make A Blonde Laugh on tuesday?

Tell Her A joke on Wendsday.

One that never misses a period.

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night.

It was her turn, she rolled the dice and landed on “Science & Nature”.

Her question was, “If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?”

She thought for a time, and then asked, “Is it on or off?”

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde all work in the same office with the same female boss. Every day, they noticed the boss left work early. One day, the girls decided that when the boss left, they’d leave right behind her. After all, she never called or came back, so how was she to know?The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening and went to bed early. The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at her spa before meeting a dinner date.The blonde was happy, happy, happy to be home, but when she got to her bedroom she heard a muffled noise from inside. Slowly, quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with HER BOSS!!!Ever so gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house. The next day, during their coffee break, the brunette and redhead mentioned leaving early again, and asked the blonde if she was with them. “NO WAY,” she exclaimed. “I almost got caught yesterday!”

Q. WHAT DO YOU CALL A BLONDE STANDING ON HER HEAD? A. A BRUNETTE WITH BAD BREATH.

It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero when the little blond got off work. She made her way to her car and wondered how she was going to make it home. She sat in her car while it warmed up and thought about her situation.

She finally remembered her daddy’s advice that if she got caught in a blizzard she should wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it. That way she would not get stuck in a snow drift. That made her feel much better and sure enough in a little while a snow plow went by and she started to follow it.

As she followed the snow plow she was feeling very smug as they continued and she was not having any problems with the blizzard conditions. After quite sometime had passed she was somewhat surprised when the snowplow stopped and the driver got out and came back to her car and signaled for her to roll her window down.

The driver wanted to know if she was alright as she had been following him for a long time. She said that she was fine and told him of her daddy’s advice to follow a snow plow when caught in a blizzard.

The driver said that it was OK with him and she could continue if she wanted, but he was done with the Walmart parking lot and was going over to K-mart next.

Q. What do you call a Blonde with pig tails?
A. A blowjob with handlebars.

Q. What’s the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A. When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.

A blonde sends her sister to pick up a bull.
She picks up the bull but now has no way to get home.So she goes to the post office to send out a telegram.
cashier: can i help you
Sister: yes, um.. how many words can i send with this much money?
cashier: one word.
(she thinks & thinks & thinks until she finds the perfect word)
Sister:comfortable
Cashier: why comfortable??
Sister: my sisters a dumb blonde, she will read it slowly!!!!!!
(come-for-the-bull!!)