Category: blondes

One day while jogging, a middle-aged man noticed a tennis ball lying by the side of the walk.

Being fairly new and in good condition, he picked the ball up, put it in his pocket and proceeded on his way.

Waiting at the cross street for the light to change, he noticed a beautiful blond standing next to him smiling.

“What do you have in your pocket?” she asked.

“Tennis ball,” the man said smiling back.

“Wow,” said the blonde looking upset. “That must hurt. I once had tennis elbow and the pain was unbearable!”

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis

There was three girls a brown head, a red head, and a blonde head. They where going to go on a hike in the desert and the brown head said she would take some food if they got hungry, the red head said she would bring water if they got thirsty, and the blonde head said she’d bring a car door……..so if they got hot she could roll down the window.

Q: What do you call two nuns and a blonde?

A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.

Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?To see what was on the other side.

Why did the blonde take his new scarf back to the store?

It was too tight.

Q: What does a blonde do after waking up?
A1: Go Home.
A2: Introduce herself to the guy on the bed.

There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note: “I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park tomorrow at 7 AM. Signed, The Blonde.” She pinned the note inside the boy’s jacket and told him to go straight home.The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag, behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Also inside the bag was the following note: “Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another!”

A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a blonde gathering, and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease.

“Would you mind telling me, Doctor,” she asked, “how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?”

“That’s easy,” he replied. “You ask them a simple question which everyone should be able to answer with no trouble. If they hesitate, that puts you on the right track.”

“What sort of question would you ask Doctor?”

“Well, you might ask them…”
“Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them.
Which one?”

The blonde thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh –
“You wouldn’t happen to have another example would you?”
“I must confess I don’t know much about history.”
(DOH!)

How do you get a twinkle in a blondes eye?
Shine a flashlight in her ear

A blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. She wanted to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, she couldn’t find it, so she asked a police officer for directions –
“Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building?”

The officer replied, “Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus. It’ll take you right there.” She thanked the officer and he drives off.

Three hours later the police officer returned to the same area and,
sure enough, the blonde is still waiting at the same bus stop.

The officer got out of his car and said, “Excuse me, but to get to the Capitol building, I said to wait here for the number 54 bus and that was three hours ago! Why are you still waiting?”

The blonde replied, “Don’t worry, officer, it won’t be long now…
The 45th bus just went by!”

Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears? A: So she wouldn’t get Hearing Aides.

what does a screendoor and a blonde have in commin? The more you bang them the lose they get