Category: blondes

Q: Did you hear about the new automatic parachutes, invented by a blond? A: They open on impact.

Q. What is a difference between a rooster and a blonde?

A. A rooster goes cockadoodledoo and a blonde goes anycockwilldoo

A blonde made several attempts to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems finding a buyer because the car had 340,000 miles on it. She discussed her problem with a brunette that she worked with at a bar.

The brunette suggested, “There may be a chance to sell that car easier, but it’s not going to be legal.”

“That doesn’t matter at all,” replied the blonde. “All that matters it that I am able to sell this car.”

“Alright,” replied the brunette. In a quiet voice, she told the blonde: “Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop around here. Tell him I sent you, and he will turn the counter back on your car to 40,000 miles. Then it shouldn’t be a problem to sell your car.”

The following weekend, the blonde took a trip to the mechanic on the brunette’s advice.

About one month after that, the brunette saw the blonde and asked, “Did you sell your car?”

“No!” replied the blonde. “Why should I? It only has 40,000 miles on it.”

It was Spring Break for the collage kids and a group of blondes
and brunettes decide to rent a double-decker bus and go on a
trip. The brunettes are to be on the bottom and the blondes on
the top. The bus had been driving a little bit and the brunettes
were having a party. They were drinking, smoking, dancing, etc.
Well when they listened, they didn’t hear anything up on the top
deck.

One of the brunettes decide to go check it out. The brunette
walks up the stairs and sees all the blondes with there eyes
shut, hands over there mouth, and shaking. The brunette goes up
to one of the blondes and says, “What’s wrong? We are down
stairs having a party and having loads of fun.” The blonde
replies, “You guys have a driver, we don’t!”

Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?A: It’s on. It’s off. It’s on. It’s off. It’s on. It’s off.

Q: What do blondes do for foreplay?
A: Remove their underwear.

A blonde and her boyfriend decide to go to the movies.

During the previews, she asks her boyfriend to get her some M&Ms.

“Okay sure. I’ll be right back.”

When he gets her the candy, she immediatly opens the bag and picks out all the brown ones. Then she throws them away.

“Why did you do that?” asked the boyfriend.

She replies “Because I’m allergic to chocolate.”

Q: What’s a blonde’s favorite wine?

A: “Daaaddy, I want to go to Miaaami!”

got exited because she finished a puzzel in 6 months when the box said 2-4 years.

change the babys diper once a month because the label said good up to 20 pounds.

got stuck on a escalator because the power went out.

tried to drown her fish by putting it in water.

Sally, a blonde, goes on her first camping trip. Her husband, who was a Scout Leader, was sick so she volunteered to take over for him one weekend. She got everyone together and assigned different duties to each scout.

Gabby was responsible for the food supplies, Mike would be the cook this trip, Johnnie was responsible for their maps and making up a time schedule, Tim was to decide on their events, and to fit them into Johnnie’s schedule and Sally would test all their equipment before setting out.

They arrived at Big Moose Mountain and everyone was excited. They arrived right on schedule and were getting ready for their first event – hiking up the mountain. But first, they wanted to get something to eat. So Sally asked Mike if he would prepare the meal and, of course, Mike said he would.

About 10 minutes later he came back and told Sally, “I can’t make the supper. I can’t light a fire with the matches you brought.”

Sally replied, “I don’t understand! Those matches should be perfectly fine. I tested them all just before we left.”

A blonde girl comes home from school and says, “Ma, is it true
that babies come out of where boys put their wieners?”

Her mother says, “Yep.”

The girl says, “Won’t that knock my teeth out?”

Three women are about to be executed for crimes. One’s a brunette, one’s a redhead, and one’s a blonde.Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, “Ready . . . Aim . . .”Suddenly the brunette yells, “earthquake!!” Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, “Ready . . . Aim . . .”The redhead then screams, “tornado!!” Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution.By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She also says no, and the executioner shouts, Ready . . . Aim . . .”The blonde shouts, “fire!!”