Category: blondes

A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next him, and says,
“Hey, wanna hear a blond joke?” The man says back to the blind
man, “Look buddy, I’m blond. The man behind me is a 400-pound
professional wrestler and he is blond. The bouncer is blond. The
man sitting over to your left is also blond. Still wanna tell
that blond joke?”

The blind man is silent for a moment and then says, “Nah, I
wouldn’t want to have to explain it five times.”

A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park one morning.Suddenly, the brunette notices a dead bird. “Awww, look at the dead birdie,” she says sadly.The blonde stops, looks up into the sky, and says, “Where? Where?”

One day, a blonde named Sally was putting together a puzzle.

She was really stumped and very frustrated, so she decided to ask her husband for help.

”It’s supposed to be a tiger!” Sally cried.

”Honey,” said Dan, “Put the Frosted Flakes back in the box!”

Submitted by Yisman
Edited by Curtis

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde go for a road trip. Halfway there, their car breaks down and they have to walk the rest of the way. The brunette says,I’ll bring the food incase we get hungry. The redhead says,I’ll bring the drinks incase we get thirsty. And the blonde says,I’ll bring the car door so we can roll the window down incase we get hot.

Two blondes are driving in a car. All of a sudden, the car slows down to a stop. The driver tells the passenger to get out and check if the lights are working. The passenger gets out and the driver turns on the blinker. The passenger resonds”Yes….no…..yes…..no…..yes…”

why do gril blondes have brusies around there bellbuttons?

Boy blondes are stupied to.

A blonde goes into a world wide message center to send a message to her mother in Poland. The man tells her it will be $300. She exclaims, “I don’t have any money, but I would do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother in Poland!!!”

To that the man asks, “Anything??”
And the blonde says, “Yes, anything!!”
With that, the man says, “Follow me.”

He walks into the next room and tells her, “Come in and close the door.”
She does.
He then says, “Get on your knees.”
She does.
He then says, “Take down my zipper.”
She does.
He then says, “Go ahead, take it out.”
With that she takes it out and takes hold of it with both hands.
The man then says, “Well, go ahead!”

She brings her mouth closer to it, and while holding it close to her lips, she says, “Hello…Mom?”

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood.

She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?”

The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage.

The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?”

The man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.”

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

“You’re finished already?” he asked.

“Yes,” the blonde answered, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.”

Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.

“And by the way,” the blonde added, “That’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Yisman

Once, Santa Clause, The Tooth Fairy, The Easter Bunny, and a
smart blonde were sitting around at dinner. There was a 100
dollar bill on the table. Guess who grabbed it first. (The
Answer is at the bottom.)
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Did ya guess? Well, it was none of them. Know why? None of them
exist!!

Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?
A: An interpreter.

Q:why are guys always lucky to have a blonde with a sweet tooth.

A: because they think the guys little friend makes mashmellow filling.

One day a blond was canoeing in a cornfield.
another blond drove up and said” you stupid blond, u make us blonds look like total idiots, if I could swim I would come out there and punch you.