Category: blondes

A blonde walks into an appliance store and says I would like to buy that T.V. please. The store clerk replies Im sorry, we dont do business with blondes. So she stormed off back to her house and dyed her hair black. The next day, she went back to the same store and said I would like to buy that T.V. please. The store clerk, once again, replies Sorry, we dont do business with blondes. The blonde replied How did you know I was blonde? The clerk says Because thats a microwave, not a T.V.

Q: Why did the blonde have a sore navel?
A: Because her boyfriend was also blond!

There were three witches who couldn’t get across a river. The only spell
they had was to turn men into canoe. So they get three guys–a brunet, a
red head, and a blond guy. They took them to the river and were about to
turn them into canoes, when brunet says, “Hey wait a second, don’t we get
a last request.” The witches saw no harm in this and gave them the go
ahead. So the brunet requested a gun. He told them not to move or he’ll
shoot so he goes free. The red head asked for a knife and said he’d stab
them if they moved, so he goes free. The blond asks for and ice pick. The
witches cringe back expecting him to attack, when he starts stabbing
himself repeaditly chanting, “Canoe’s gonna leak, canoe’s gonna leak.”

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a
handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the
front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to
do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?”
The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the
paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. A short time later,
the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
“You’re finished already?” he asked.
“Yes,” the blonde answered, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two
coats.” Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.
“And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”

There once was a blonde who had two horses but she couldn’t tell them apart,so she goes to her friend and says,”I have two horses and I just can’t tell them apart.” The friend suggest that she cut off one’s mane,so the blonde did, but the mane grew back. She goes to her friend and the friend suggest she cut off one of the horses’ tail. The blonde did but the tail grew back too fast. So she finally says to her friend, “I’ve tried all of your suggestions but it just doesn’t work.” The friend suggests one more thing that she measure them. The blonde went home, got a ruler measured them and went to her friend the next morning, and the blonde tells her friend,”Oh, thank you I can tell them apart!” “How?” asked the friend, and the blonde tells her,”The black horse is taller than the white horse.”

Q:How do you kill a dumb blond?

A:Stick a scratch and sniff sticker in the bottom of a pool!!!

Q: How do blonde brain cells die?
A: Alone.

Q. What do you threen blondes in a freezer
A. Frosted flakes.

Why did the blonde fail at being a prostitute?

Because she gave blow-jobs literally.

Q. How do you keep a blonde occupied for hours?

A. Give her a piece of paper that says “Read other side first” on both sides.

A blonde began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to
help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side
of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the
other.
The blonde approached and asked if she was all right.

The girl said she was.

A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the girl was in the same spot,
still by herself. Approaching again, Sandy offered, “Would you like me to be
your friend?”

The girl hesitated, then said, “Okay,” looking at the woman suspiciously.

Feeling she was making progress, the blonde then asked, “Why are you standing
here all alone?”

“Because,” the little girl said with great exasperation, “I’m the goalie!”

Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?

A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.