Category: blondes

Blonde quickies 161-180

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161. Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A: Write ‘Please turn over’ on both sides of a piece of paper

162. Q: Why aren’t there many blonde gymnasts?
A: Because when they do the splits, they stick to the floor.

163. Q: Why do blondes have legs?
A1: So they don’t get stuck to the ground.
A2: To get between the bedroom and the kitchen.
A3: So they don’t leave trails, like little snails.

164. Q: Why did the blonde go half way to Norway and then turn around and come home?
A: It took her that long to discover that a 14 inch Viking was a television.

165. Q: What is the irritating part around a blonde’s vagina?
A: The Blonde!

166. Q: How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots?
A: Flattered.

167. Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives?
A: They always forget the 11 in 9-1-
1.

168. Q: Did you hear about the blondes who froze to death at the Drive Inn Theater?
A: They went to see “Closed for the Season”

169. Q: What did the blonde say when asked if she’d ever been picked up by ‘the fuzz’?
A: ‘No. But I’ve been swung around by the tits.’

170. Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?
A: An interpreter.

171. Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A: A mental block.

172. Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.

173. Q: What do you call 25 blondes on top of each other?
A: An air mattress.

174. Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
A: A dope ring.

175. Q: What do you call a blond with a bag of sugar on her head ?
A: Sweet Fuck All…

176. Q: What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes?
A: Frosted Flakes.

177. Q: What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the pool?
A: Air bubbles.

178. Q: What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
A: Frosted Flakes.

179. Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
A: Last year’s hide-and-seek champ.

180. Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde’s head?
A: A Space Invader.

Crossing the River

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A dumb blonde walking along, lost, encountered a deep and wide river. She looked up and down that river and could not see a way across. She looked to the other side and saw another blonde on the opposite river bank and called out to her.
“How can I get to the other side of the river?”

The other blonde replied”What for you are already on the other side of the river!”

Bowling for Blondes!

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Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic City.

The Brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus.
The Blonde team rides on the top level.

The Brunette team down below is whooping it up having a great time, when one of them realizes she doesn’t hear anything from the Blondes upstairs.

She decides to go up and investigate. When the Brunette reaches the top, she finds all the Blondes frozen in fear, staring straight-ahead at the road, and clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles.

The Brunette asks, “What the heck’s goin’ on up here? We’re havin’ a grand time downstairs!”

One of the Blondes from the second team looks up and says…
“Yeah, but you’ve got a driver!”

Dandruff

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There was a blonde and a brunette in an elevator. On their way down, they stop to pick up another person also on their way down. When the person got on, the girls noticed that he was pretty cute. Unfortunately he had dandruff. Finally, on the way off of the elevator the two girls let the guy go ahead of them. The brunette turns to the blonde and says “Oh my god! We need to give him Head and Shoulders.” The blonde then replies “That’s a pretty good idea, but how are we going to give him shoulders?”