Category: blondes

A blonde walks into a shop and says to the owner “can i buy that microwave” the owner replys sorry, we dont seel to blondes.
So the next day she comes back as a red head and says “can i buy that microwave” the owner replys sorry, we dont sell to blondes.
So the next day she comes back as a brunette and says ” can i buy that microwave?”
the owner replys sorry, we dont sell to blondes
she says ” how did you know i was a blonde?
he says” because thats not a microwave, thats a T.V!

What did the blonde mother say to the blonde daughter?”If you’re not in bed by 12, you can come home!”

What do blondes and cow shit have in common? The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.

A blonde came home from her first day commuting into the city.

Her mother noticed she was looking a little peaky and asked, “Honey, are you feeling all right?”

“Not really,” the blonde replied. “I’m nauseous from sitting backward on the train.”

“Poor dear,” Mom said. “Why didn’t you ask the person sitting across from you to switch seats for a while?”

“I couldn’t,” she replied, “There was no one there.”

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman

A blonde walked into an electrical store and said to the man behaind the counter…
“i would like to buy that tv please.”
the man behind the counter said,
“no because you are blonde.”
the blond walked out and went home and dyed her hair red. She went back to the store and said to the man behind the counter,
“i would like to buy that tv please.”
the man behind the counter said,
“no because you blonde.”
she went home and dyed her hair black and went back into the store and said to the man behind the counter,
“i would like to buy that tv please.”
the man behind the counter said,
“no because your a blonde.”
the blonde said to the man,
“how do you know im blonde when my hair is dyed?”
the man behind the counter replied,
“it is not a tv it is a microwave!”

Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?

A: Gifted!

There was a Blonde, a Brunette, and a Redhead standing on the beach.They had decided the previous evening whilst in the pub to try and swim the English channel.After some dicussion, they decided the quickest way would be to do the breast stroke, so off they set.One day later the Redhead reached the French coast. Having lost sight of the other two swimmers just off the English coast she decided that they couldn’t be far behind so sat on the beach looking out to sea waiting for the other two.After a cold night of waiting, the Brunette finally came into sight. “What took you so long?” inquired the Redhead.”There were some strong currents out there! But I’m here now! Am I the last?” replied the Brunette.”No. Blondie is still out there somewhere.” They decided to wait.Day after day the two swimmers sat on the beach until on the 5th day Blondie came into view. Once on dry land the Brunette asked the blonde “What took you so long?””What do you expect? You guy’s cheated, replied the blonde, “You used your hands!”

Why did the blonde get fired from her job working at an M&M factory?She kept throwing out all of the W’s!

QUESTION-IF A BRUNETTE AND A BLONDE WERE TO JUMP OFF A BUILDING WHO WOULD HIT THE GROUND FIRST?

ANSWER- THE BRUNETTE CAUSE THE BLONDE HAS TO GO FIND DIRECTIONS!

A bloke in a bar downs a couple of beers, and the blond
bartender informs him he owes $4. “But I paid, don’t you
remember?” says the customer. “Okay,” says the bartender, “If
you said you paid, you did.” The man then goes outside and tells
the first person he sees that the bartender can’t keep track of
whether his customers have paid.

The second man then ruses in, orders a beer and later pulls the
same stunt. The barkeep replies, “If you say you paid, I’ll take
your word for it.”

Soon the customer goes into the street, sees an old friend, and
tells him how to get free drinks. The man hurries into the bar
and begins to drink high-balls when, suddenly, the bartender
leans over sand says, “You know, a funny thing happened in here
tonight. Two men were drinking beer, neither paid and both
claimed that they did. The next guy who tries that is going to
get punched right in the nose.”

“Don’t bother me with your troubles,” the final patron responds.
“Just give me my change and I’ll be on my way.”

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.

Q. How do you get a blonde to laugh at a joke on Saturday?
A. Tell it to her on Tuesday.