Category: blondes

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse’s mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse’s neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway.
The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.
Unfortunately, her foot has become tangled in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of the horse’s pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when………………………………the Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut the horse off.

A blonde woman walks into a store. Curious about a shiny object, she asks, “What is that?”
The store clerk responds, “It’s a thermos.”

The blonde then asks, “What does it do?”

The clerk says “It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.” So she buys one.

The next day, she brings it to work with her. Her boss, also a blond, asks, “What is that shiny object?”

She replies “It’s a thermos.”

He asks, “What does it do?”

She says, “It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.”

He then asks, “What do you have in there?”

“Two cups of coffee and a popsicle.”

TO PISS OFF A BLOUND YOU PUT HER IN A CIRCULAR ROOM AND TEEL HER TO PEE IN A CORNER

Inventions by Blondes…

1. The water-proof towel
2. Glow in the dark sunglasses
3. Solar powered flashlights
4. Submarine screen doors
5. A book on how to read
6. Inflatable dart boards
7. A dictionary index
8. Mechanical Pencil sharpeners
9. Powdered water
10. Pedal-powered wheel chairs
11. Waterproof tea bags
12. Watermelon seed sorter
13. Zero proof alcohol
14. Reuseable ice cubes
15. See-through toilet tissue
16. Skinless bananas
17. Do-it-yourself road map
18. Turnip ice cream
19. Toe implants
20. An all white flag
21. Rolls Royce pickup truck
22. Helicopter Ejector Seat

Why do blondes like tilt steering? More headroom

What did the father say to his blonde daughter?
”If you’re not in bed by 11, come home.”

Q: How to you keep a blonde busy all day?A: Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.

Question: What happened to the blonde who bought an a.m. radio?

Answer: It took her a month to find out she could listen to it at night!

During late spring one year, a blonde was trying out her new boat. She was unable to have her boat perform, travel through water, or do any maneuvers whatsoever no matter how hard she tried.After trying for over three days to make it work properly, she decided to seek help. She putted the boat over to the local marina in hopes that someone there could identify her problem.Workers determined that everything from the engine to the outdrive was working perfectly on the topside of the boat. So, a puzzled marina employee jumped into the water to check underneath the boat for problems. Because he was laughing so hard, he came up choking on water and gasping for air. Under the boat, still strapped in place securely, was the trailer.

There were two blondes at the park.
One says, “Look at that dead seagull over there.”

And the other looks up and says, “Where?”

Q: How can you tell if a blonde’s been using the computer?A: There’s white-out on the screen.

Two blondes were building a house.

One saw that the other was going into her pouch and throwing every other nail out.

She thought that this was weird and decided to look into it.

“Why do you keep throwing every other nail away?”

“Well, when I pull one out of my pouch, and it is facing towards the house, I nail it in. If it is facing away from the house, it is defective and I throw it away.”

“You idiot, those nails aren’t defective, they are for the other side of the house.”

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by calamjo