Category: bill clinton

What do OJ and Clinton have in common?
Both are lying, bad golfers, who leave a trail of DNA behind.

Why does Clinton were flannel underwear?

To Keep his knees warm.

The Pope and President Clinton met.

When you think about it, the Pope is probably the only guy in the world who’s had more people kneel in front of him than President Clinton.

Q: Why does Hillary have a grimace on her face?
A: Bill forgot to take the di*** out.

What brand of underwear does Monica Lewinsky wear?

President’s Choice.

Q: What do call someone who sees the glass in front of him half full?
A: An optimist…

The most recent reports of the stain on Monica’s dress have been released.
This whole thing seems to be a vast right-hand conspiracy.

Q: What is green, has six holes, and smells like Monica Lewinsky?
A: Bill Clinton�s pool table

Why did Hillary Clinton want to get a dog for the White House?

To help chase the pussies away.

Submitted by calamjo
Edited by Curtis

Q: What did Arafat say to Clinton last night ?A: ‘Sheep don’t talk, my friend’Famous presidential quotes: -‘Ich bin ein Berliner’ John F Kennedy -‘I am not a crook’ Richard Nixon -‘Ouch, I bumped my head again’ Jerry Ford -‘I’ve felt lust in my heart’ Jimmy Carter -‘Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall’ Ronald Reagan -‘Read my lips’ George Bush -‘Suck my dick’ William J Clinton

Q: Why did the Clintons switch from MCI to AT&T?
A: They didn’t have enough friends left to make a calling circle.

Bill Clinton and Bill Gates, one day in 1999, were having an, up until the time,intelligent conversation about how to assert power onto others. Being who they are, however, their conversation quickly changed from discussing politics to discussing which of the two had the bigger penis.Clinton strongly forced his view upon Gates by saying Well look at what me and Monica did. Gates however won back the argument by stating. “Well, look what I do to my customers every single day of every single week.” The friendly argument swiftly devolved into a shouting match between the two. I have the biggest penis of any man in the world! Clinton forcefully bellowed I�ll show you! Clinton then unzipped his pants and revealed his monstrous phallus to Gates. “That�s nothing compared to my titanic sabre!” exclaimed Gates. Gates showed his hulk-ish beast to Clinton. It was clearly much greater than Clinton could ever imagine. Mr. Clinton was both infuriated and envious at the same time. He could never let anyone else see how great of a scepter Mr. Gates carried. In a fit of rage, Clinton pulled out his .45 caliber pistol, pointed it at Gates� head, and demanded he never displayed his monster for anyone else�s eyes to see. Gates, having an ego much larger than his giant, forcefully denied Clinton�s envious request.Clinton then called his team of advisors into the room and discussed what they could do to stop Gates from showing his amazing girth to the rest of the world. After minutes of arguing, debating, and eating pizza, they decided to take a knife to Mr. Gates� woodrow and cut it equally in two pieces. The severed half would be given to one of Bill Gates� most trusted employees.Gates would have no part of losing his most prized treasure; he therefore called his army of lawyers to fend off Clinton for just a small time, so Gates could hide his penis. Alas, his minions could only stop Clinton�s superior army for a short while; not nearly long enough for Gates to conceal his cannon. In the end, Clinton was able to cut Gates� pedro in two. Nothing really happened afterwards. Gates remained the greatest dick in the world and Clinton still was the second gun.