Bill and Monica were made for each other. Monica has a crooked mouth.
Category: bill clinton
President’s bed
Well, the big story — Hillary Clinton will be running for president in 2008.
You know why I think she’s running?
I think she finally wants to see what it’s like to sleep in the president’s bed.
-Jay Leno
Difference between Dan Quayle, Bill Clinton, and J
Q: What is the difference between Dan Quayle, Bill Clinton, and Jane Fonda?
A: Jane Fonda went to Vietnam.
A: One has two boobs, the others *are* two boobs.
It’s alright Ma’am
On his first official engagement, President Clinton rides with the Queen in a carriage of state.
All of a sudden the rearmost horse breaks wind.
” I do apologize Mr President,” Said the Queen
“That’s all right Ma’am,” said the President. “I thought it was the horse!”
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by Tantilazing
11th commandment
Due to Clinton’s escapades
The Lord added an 11th commandment:
Thou shall not stick thy rod in thy staff.
Who was the first liberal Democrat?
Q: Who was the first liberal Democrat?
A: Christopher Columbus. He left not knowing where he was going, got there not
knowing where he was, left not knowing where he’d been, and did it all on
borrowed money.
Titanic and the Clinton Administration
Q: What do the Titanic and the Clinton Administration have in common?
A: ………going down fast.
Betty Currie, the President’s personal secretary
What code phrase did Betty Currie, the President’s personal secretary, use to
let Clinton know Monica Lewinsky was coming down for a visit?”
“Your Jew’s harpist is here to play ‘Hail to the Chief.'”
Don’t look down
What does walking a tightrope over the Grand Canyon have in common with receiving oral sex from Janet Reno?
The warning is the same: “For God’s sake, don’t look down!”
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
How can you tell Bill Clinton is lying
Q: How can you tell when Bill Clinton is telling a lie by looking at his
face?
A: If his lips are moving, then he’s lying.
Healthcare Reform
Hilary Clinton was taking a tour of a D.C. hospital while working to reform
healthcare in the U.S.
as she is touring, a doctor is explaining all the different functions of the
hospital to her. Eventually, they pass an open room in the inpatient ward, where
Hilary could clearly see a middle aged man masturbating with great enthusiasm.
The doctor quickly instructed the floor nurse to close the door. It was too
late, Hilary had already seen. She fiercely looked at the doctor and said, “What
kind of hospital are you running here Doctor?”
The doctor calmly explained to the First Lady that the man had a very rare
ailment, which required him to ejaculate three times daily, or his testicles
would swell and he would die.
Hilary accepted the doctor’s explanation and they moved on.
A few minutes later, they came across another open room, yet this time they
witnessed a nurse on her knees giving a different middle aged man oral sex.
Hilary was outraged and called for an immediate explanation.
“It’s very simple Mrs. Clinton”, said the doctor. “This man suffers from the
same ailment as the last man, however he has a much better health plan.”
Broken Campaign Promises
President Clinton has publicly admitted that he cannot keep one of his Campaign Promises. He had promised to support Unionizing of the Secret Service. The exact amount of campaign contributions involved in exchange for this promise is unclear at this time. Now the Prez says he cannot deliver and they’re actually picketing the White House.This makes no sense at all. Q: WHAT IS THE JOB OF THE SECRET SERVICE??A: Hang around with the President and make sure nothing happens.Sounds like a Union job to me….