Category: bill clinton

Why doesn’t Monica eat bananas?
She can’t find the zipper.

What’s the difference between Bill Clinton and a dog?
A dog chases his own tail.

One day when Bill Clinton and Al Gore were in Nashville, Al took Bill on a
tour of his farm east of there. After a tour of the barn, they walked around
behind it and discovered a sheep with it’s head stuck in the fence. As Bill
watched the ewe struggle, he dropped his pants, fell to his knees and mounted
the sheep. When he finished he turned to Al and said, “Why don’t you try some of
that?” Al said, “Ok!” and dropped his pants, fell to his knees and stuck his
head in the fence.

Q: Did you hear what happened to Monica Lewinski this morning?
A: She coughed up some new evidence.

What do Monica Lewinsky and a Coke Machine have in common?

They both have a sign that says, “Insert Bill here, face up.”

Titanic Video: $9.99 on Internet.
Clinton Video: $9.99 on Internet.
Titanic Video: Over 3 hours long.
Clinton Video: Over 3 hours long.
Titanic Video: The story of Jack and Rose, they�re forbidden love, and a
subsequent catastrophy.
Clinton Video: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and a
subsequent catastrophy.
Titanic Video: Celine Dion sings “My Heart Will Go On”.
Clinton Video: Bill Clinton thinks “My Hard Will Go On”.
Titanic Video: Villain is White Star Cruise Line.
Clinton Video: Villain is Ken Starr.
Titanic Video: Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton Video: Bill is a B.S. artist.
Titanic Video: In one part, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton Video: In one part, Bill enjoys a good cigar.
Titanic Video: During the ordeal, Rose’s dress gets ruined.
Clinton Video: During the ordeal, Monica’s dress gets ruined.
Titanic Video: Rose undresses and exposes her breasts.
Clinton Video: Monica undresses and exposes her breasts.
Titanic Video: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton Video: Bill… never mind.
Titanic Video: Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
Clinton Video: Monica forced to return her gifts.
Titanic Video: Not enough lifeboats.
Clinton Video: Not enough lifeboats.
Titanic Aftermath: Leonardo DiCaprio is wildly popular.
Clinton Aftermath: Bill Clinton is wildly popular.
Titanic Finale: Jack meets an icy death.
Clinton Finale: Bill goes home to Hillary.

How can you tell you’ve just had sex with Bill Clinton?
You’ve got French fries in your hair, and Vernon Jordan is handing you a job
application.

Q: How many Hillary Clintons does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One – she just holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.

A newcomer to the political scene was campaigning in the backwoods for the office of assemblyman.

Outside a ramshackle house, he saw a young man milking a cow.

He approached the man, ready to make his pitch for a vote.

Just as he was getting started, an old man called from inside the house.

“Luke, get in the house. And who is that guy you’re talking to?”

“Says he’s a politician, dad,” Luke said.

“In that case, you’d better bring the cow inside with you.”

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Tantilazing

Q: What do Bill Clinton and a fifteen-watt light bulb have in common?
A: Neither one is very bright.

Q: Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly?
A: She looks like her dad Janet Reno.

Bill Clinton went jogging one morning and came upon the Washington monument.
He said, “George, what should I do?� After a few seconds George replied,
“Abolish the IRS and start over�. Bill thought about this for a few seconds and
continued jogging Shortly he came upon the Jefferson Memorial and stopped. He
said, “Tom, what should I do?” After a few seconds Tom replied, “Abolish
welfare and start over�. Bill continued jogging after thinking about this and
came upon the Lincoln Memorial. He said, “Abe, what should I do?” After a few
seconds Abe replied, “Why don’t you take the night off and go to the theater?”