Category: bill clinton

What should be the official name for Bill & Hillary Clinton’s New York Estate”, asked Jayne Carroll, who hosts a radio talk show in the Portland, Oregon metropolitan area.On Friday, September 10th, Carroll asked her audience to suggest an official name for the Clinton $1.7 million house in New York. Carroll’s call-in contest required the names to be in relative good taste, original, and should capture the essence of the occupants.The response was overwhelming! Here’s some of the more witty: Perjurers’ Palace Hillbilly Villa The House of Bill’s Repute Drawers Downs Cheatem Estates Castle of Contempt Sin Simeon The House That Terrybought The Knee Pad The White Trash House The Blight House The Panderosa. Liars’ Lair Bill & Hill’s Bribe & Breakfast The Clinton Compost Dogpatch on the Hudson Rancho Immoral Deceitful Domicile Monica’s Man’s Manor The Hen House The Out House The Big House The Love Shack Lucifer’s Lair House of the Rising Son The House of Seven Felonies Cottage of Contempt Motel Sex But the hands-down winning entry was………. Can you guess????????????? DISGRACELAND!

A man was walking in the woods and came to a cottage where the walls were
covered with clocks. He asked the woman who owned the cottage what all the
clocks were for.
She replied that God had given her them, that everyone in the world had a
clock, and every time you told a lie your clock advanced a second.
He saw a clock that was hardly moving and when he remarked about it he was
told that it was Mother Teresa’s. He then asked where Bill Clinton’s clock was.

The woman replied, “It’s in the kitchen, we’re using it as a ceiling fan�.

Why did Lewinsky have an affair with Clinton?
She wanted to get ahead in the world.

Back when Bill Clinton and Hillary got married Bill told her, �There’s one
thing I want you to know. There’s a box under my bed and I don’t want you to
look in it until I die.�
Hillary agreed to this but, over the years, the curiosity got the better of
her and she finally looked in it. She found three beer cans and 1.5 million
dollars in cash.

When she asked Bill what the beer cans were for, he replied, �Well, those are
for all the times I’ve cheated on you.�
Hillary said, �Well, that’s not bad after all these years and you being a
politician and traveling and all.�
She was about to leave, but then she said, �Hey, Bill, what about the 1.5
million dollars?�
Bill replied, �That’s for all the times the box got full and I had to cash the
cans in.�

This is the FBI summary of a conversation that took place this week between President Clinton and Kimberly, a brand new intern in the White House. Kimberly walked into the White House for her first day of her internship and was greeted by the President.After a short tour of the White House the President asked ‘How would you like to see the Presidential Clock?’ Kimberly looked troubled and said ‘I don’t know Mr. President. I have heard some pretty bad things about you. I don’t think that would be a good idea.”Nonsense’ said the President. ‘It’s just a clock.’ Kimberly agreed and the President lead her into the Oval Office where they were alone. He closed the door, dropped his pants, and pulled it out.Kimberly gasped. ‘Oh that’s not the Presidential Clock, that’s the Presidential Cock!’ To which the President responded: ‘Kimberly honey, you put a face and two hands on it and its a clock!’

George W. Bush and Bill Clinton somehow ended up at the same barbershop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken.

The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation for fear it would turn to politics. As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Clinton in his chair reached for the aftershave.

Clinton was quick to stop him saying, “no thanks, my wife Hillary will smell that and think I’ve been in a whorehouse.”

The second barber turned to Bush and said, “How about you?”

Bush replied, “Go ahead, my wife has no idea what the inside of a whorehouse smells like.”

Submitted by Admin
Edited by Curtis

What did Clinton say when asked about the scandal?
I was trying to keep my campaign promise by putting more women on my staff.

Nice silky woman.
Like icy snowman.
Knew noisy claim.
Now in slimy cake.
Ya! Slick now mine.
We lick insomnia.
I know sin, malice.
I nail sick women.
Wank my silicone
Wonky manic lies.
I’m nice, slow Yank.
Now I mean sickly.
Now my sick alien.
O! wily nicknames.
Woman ski nicely.
Knows aim nicely.
Nice snowy milk.
Ways link income.
Cosily wank mine.
I only wanks mice.
I wank slimy once.
Oy! Nice wank, Slim.
No! wanks me icily.
Sick menial wino.
Insane milky cow.

Q: If called to testify in a trial how long will it before Clinton commits
perjury.
A: When he’s sworn in.

Monica went up to the pharmacist and stated, “I need to buy condoms.” The
pharmacist looked up and asked, “Shall I put it on your bill?” “No, thanks,”
Monica responded. “I prefer to put them on him myself.”

Q: What’s a conservative?
A: A liberal who made it through adolescence.

Q: Why is Clinton so interested in events in the Middle East?
A: He thinks the Gaza Strip is a topless bar.