Category: bill clinton

The wives of four world leaders were having ‘tea’ and the topic was raised of what one diplomatically calls a gentleman’s manhood in their language.Tony Blair’s wife said in England people call it a gentleman, because it stands up when women are entering.Jaques Chirac’s wife said in France you call it a curtain, because it goes down after the act.Boris Yeltsin’s wife said in Russia you call it a patriot, because you never know if it will hit you on the front or on the back side.Bill Clinton’s wife said that in the USA you call it a rumor, because it goes from mouth to mouth.

Titanic vs. Clinton (some amazing similarities)

Titanic Video: $9.99 on Internet.
Clinton Video: $9.99 on Internet.

Titanic Video: Over 3 hours long.
Clinton Video: Over 3 hours long.

Titanic Video: The story of Jack and Rose, they�re forbidden love, a
subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton Video: The story of Bill and Monica, they�re forbidden love, a
subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic Video: Villain: White Star Line.
Clinton Video: Villain: Ken Starr.

Titanic Video: Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton Video: Bill is a B.S. artist.

Titanic Video: In one part, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton Video: Ditto for Bill.

Titanic Video: During ordeal, Rose’s dress gets ruined.
Clinton Video: Ditto for Monica.

Titanic Video: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton Video: Let’s not go there.

Titanic Video: Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
Clinton Video: Monica’s forced to return her gifts.

Titanic Video: Behind the scenes: Leonardo DiCaprio is wildly popular.
Clinton Video: Behind the scenes: Bill Clinton’s approval rating is at 70%

Titanic Video: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton Video: Bill goes home to Hillary.

What did Clinton tell his lawyer after Monica Lewinski testified?

“She said a mouthful.”

Q: Why does Hillary think her husband is a model president?
A: Because a model is a small imitation of the real thing.

Titles considered for a book by Monica Lewinsky
“I Suck At My Job”
“What Really Goes Down In The White House”
“How I Blew It In Washington”
“Work Hard to Find the Softer Side of the President”
“Clear and Present Boner”
“Testing the Limits of the Gag Rule”
“Going Back for Gore”
“Podium Girl”
“Secret Services to the President”
“Harass is Not Two Words: The Story of Bill Clinton”
“Deep Inside The Oval Office”
“The Congressional Study on White House Intern Positions”
“My Chief of Staff”
“Al Gore Is In Command For The Next 30 Minutes”
“How To Beat Off the Government”
“Going Down and Moving Up”
“Members of the Cabinet”
“Me and My Big Mouth”
“How To Get A Head in Business”

Did you hear that the lab finally determined
what was on Monica Lewinsky’s dress?

It was Big Mac sauce.

Johnnie Cochrane, Esq., here are the top ten proposed closing arguments in the
matter of United States v. William J. Clinton:

10. If the dress ain’t a mess, he won’t need to confess.
9. The economy’s great, let the White Boy skate.
8. If the Bitch didn’t spit, you must acquit.
7. If she is not spread eagle, then it is not illegal.
6. Lewinsky’s a whore, and Bill’s better than Gore.
5. So he lied to the masses, he was just saving some Asses.
4. He cheats on his wife, but it�s his personal life.
3. Bill can’t tell the truth till he sees Ken Starr’s proof.
2. Bill is not sleazy, Lewinsky’s just easy.
1. If the sex is just oral, it is not really immoral.

An application allowing you to vote your feelings about clinton.Vote (13K)Note: Our “Send this Joke to A Friend” email thingy doesn’t transmit programs. But if you see this in email, you can click on the link above!

One of the Nation’s largest Soup Manufacturers announced today that they will be stocking Americas shelves this week with their newest Soup creation, “Clinton Soup”, that will honor one the nations most distinguished men. It consists primarily of a small weenie in hot water.

Q: How many republicans does it take to disarm the _LAW-ABIDING_ public so
that the government can enforce totalitarianistic and
unconstitutional laws?
A: None. The Social Democrats do that.

What do massachusetts and the Clinton both have in common?
We both have an ugly Chelsea! .”

A very important meeting took place among God, the Pope and Moses.

They were troubled because the President of the United States was behaving in an inappropriate manner.

They decided that the only course of action left was to create an 11th Commandment to get their message across.

Now the problem remained exactly how to word this new commandment so that it matched the other commandments in style and holy inspiration.

After great meditation and discussion they concluded:

“Thou shalt not comfort thy rod with thy staff”