Category: bill clinton

There are women and two men. The women say she is the most beautiful person in
the world. The first man says that he is the strongest man on the earth. The
second man says that he has had the most sex in the world. But then all three
disagree about one another and so the three go to the wizard. The woman went in
and asked the wizard if she is the most beautiful woman in the world and the
wizard said that she was. Then the first man went in and asked the wizard if he
was the strongest man in the world and the wizard said that he was. Then the
second man went in and asked the wizard if he had the most sex in the world, but
instead the second man came out and said, “Who is Bill Clinton?”

Q: What is the difference between Clinton’s health care plan and a kidney
stone?
A: A kidney stone is easier to pass.

An American watch shop is marketing a wristwatch with Bill Clinton’s face on it; and every 10 seconds his nose grows. (True!) It is being marketed as the “Clinoccio Watch”.After hearing this, Bob Bradburn, a commentator on CHQT Radio in Edmonton, Alberta, commented that not only do they have a Bill Clinton “Clinoccio” watch they also have come up with a Hilary watch. It just goes Tut, Tut, Tut.

Bill and Hillary went to the first baseball game of the year in Baltimore’s
new Camden Yards stadium. The umpire went to the Presidential box seat next to
the home dugout, whispered something to Bill, then walked back to home plate.
Bill shrugged his shoulders, and then threw Hillary onto the playing field. The
umpire shook his head, walked back to where Bill was sitting and said, “No, sir,
I asked you to throw out the first PITCH.”

Listening to the Democrat’s response after President Bush’s State of the Union address, I heard every negative thing except, “Surrender Dorothy!”

What is the name of Monica Lewinsky’s new book?
My Taste For Power.

During his last few weeks as president, Bill Clinton is looking out of the window of the Oval Office.

Then he notices that someone has urinated the message “BILL SUCKS!” on a wall outside the White House.

Furious, he orders the FBI to take urine and handwriting samples from every member of the White House staff to find the culprit.

A week later, the FBI director calls. “Mr. President, I have good news and bad news,” he says. “The good news is the urine belongs to Ken Starr.”

“And the bad news?” Clinton asks.

After a slight pause, the director replies, “Sir, the handwriting belongs to your wife.”

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Tantilazing

What does Nixon have in common with Clinton?
Tricky Dick.

What do you get when you cross a crooked politician with a crooked lawyer?
CHELSEA.

Bill Clinton is sitting next to a White House intern one day at a
gathering. The President says to her, “Would you like to come to the Oval
office and see my clock?”

She says, “No, Mr. President, I don’t think so.”

The President replies, “Please. I’d really like to show it to you.”

“No, Mr. President, I really can’t.”

“Come on. Come and see my clock. It’ll only take a minute.”

“All right. If it won’t take long.”

They go to the Oval Office. The President sits down, unzips his
pants, and pulls out his dick.

The intern says, “That’s not a clock, it’s a cock.”

To which the President says, “If you put two hands and a face on it, it’s a
clock sweetheart.”

Clinton is out jogging around in some of the seedier areas of Washington D.C. He notices a good looking prostitute. She sees this and calls out: “Fifty dollars!” He is tempted, but the price is a little high. So he calls back: “Five!” She is disappointed and turns away and Bill continues his jog.

A few days later, he finds himself jogging in the same area and as luck would have it, the prostitute is still there. But she want not come down on her price. “Fifty!” she shouts and Bill answers her: “Five!” No sale.

About a week later, Hillary has decided that she wants to get into shape so she demands to go jogging with Bill. They get to the seedy part of town and the same prostitute is still there. She eyes Bill and Hillary together and yells: “See what you get for five dollars!”

President Clinton’s Motto:
Eaten’ isn�t cheating’.