Category: bill clinton

Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Zero. He only screws interns.

President Clinton, Vice President Al Gore, and Hilary Clinton have all died
and are waiting to speak to God.

God asks the first person, “Who are you?” He replies, “I’m Bill Clinton, the
leader of the free world.” God says, “Sit here, on my right side.”

God then turns to the next person and asks who he is. Al Gore replies, “I am
the assistant leader of the free world.” God says, “Sit here, on my left side.”

Then God turns to the third person and asks who she is. Hilary replies, “I’m
Hilary Clinton, and you’re sitting in my seat.”

Q: What does Jeffrey Dahmer’s victims and The Clintons’ hairstyles have in
common?
A: They both look like the work of a butcher…

Q: Did you know that Clinton’s cat can play Chess?
A: Inside Information: The cat isn’t really all that good at Chess. The last
time they played best of five, Clinton won three games to two.

Hilary is at a pet store and is looking or a talking parrot. She noticed one that was much cheaper then the rest. She asks the store “Why is this parrot so much cheaper then the rest.” The store owner replies “That one was at a whore house and has dirty language.” So Hilary takes buys this one thinking she can teach it better language. She then takes it to the oval office and the bird says “New house new madam.” Hilary gets frustrated and walks out Then Chelsea comes in and the bird says “New house new Whore.” so Chelsea gets mad and storms out. Then Mr. Clinton comes in and the bird says “Hey Bill.”

Just 72 hours after President Bush met with Crown Prince Abdullah and held his hand, oil prices fell to under $50 a barrel.

Boy, imagine if President Bush had let him get to second base — we’d be paying like a buck-ten a gallon now.

Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb and Don Juan were having a terrible
fight. “I am the most beautiful person in the world,” proclaimed
Sleeping Beauty.

“No, you’re not,” answered Don Juan and Tom Thumb.

I am the smallest person in the world,” shouted Tom Thumb.

“No, you’re not,” said Sleeping Beauty and Don Juan

“I’ve had more lovers than any person in the world,” announced Don
Juan.

“No, you haven’t” replied Tom Thumb and Sleeping Beauty.

Well, they decided that if the three were to get along, they needed a
mediator, and decided that Merlin, clearly the smartest person in
the world, would be ideal. Merlin agreed and summoned them all to
his palace, where he announced he would meet with them one at a
time.

Sleeping Beauty went in first and not a minute later came out
beaming. “I am the most beautiful person in the world, Merlin said
so.”

In went Tom Thumb and out he came as quickly as had Sleeping Beauty.
“I am the smallest person in the world. Merlin agrees.”

In goes Don Juan and in he stays, a half hour, an hour, an hour and a
half later. Finally, he emerges distraught, muttering, “Who the hell
is Bill Clinton”

Q: What is the difference between Donna Shalala and an old gray motorcycle?
A: One is a dull bike.

Q: What does Bill say to Hillary after having sex?
A: I’ll be home in 15 minutes.
A: Come pick me up before she calls the cops!

Q: How do you break a Bill Clinton supporter’s finger?
A: Punch him in the nose.

The history teacher announced that the students who could tell her the
source of the following famous quotes would be allowed to go home early.
“The first quote is: ‘Four score and seven years ago…'”

Cathy raised her and and answered “Abe Lincoln”.

“Very good Cathy, you may go home,” said the teacher. “The next quote is
‘Give me liberty or
give me…”

Jane raised her hand and blurted out “Patrick Henry.”

“Very good Jane, you may also leave.”

Meanwhile a boy had his hand up in the back
of the room the whole time and the teacher never acknowledged him and she
said that would be all for the day. She proceeded to write something on
the board when the boy said “Stupid Bitches (women) if it weren’t for them
none of this ever would’ve happened” The teacher turned around and said
“Who said that!” The boy blurts out “Bill Clinton now can I go
home!”

Why did osama bin laden stop having sex with his wife?

because when she opened her legs he saw bush!!!!