Category: bill clinton

Did you know that Bill Clinton really was supportive of Monica throughout
thier tryst?

He kept telling her, “Chin up young lady, chin up.”

Did you hear Clinton is declaring a new National Bird? It’s going to be the
spread eagle.

A: None — He’ll only promise, “change.”

Q: How does Bill Clinton fire up super lawyer Bob Bennett?
A: He tells him to go out there and win one for the zipper.

11. Excuse me “Your Honor”, but she was on top
10. I didn’t want people to confuse me with the Pope on TV
9. She’s not THAT young. In Arkansas, the age of consent is only 16
8. Hey, At least she’s prettier than Paula Jones or Gennifer Flowers
7. I had to show the American People that I WASN’T impotent for my second term
in office
6. I was jealous of Nixon with his ‘Tricky Dick” nickname
5. I didn’t leave a message on her voicemail. Get with it. This is the 90’s, I
sent her E-MAIL!
4. See I’m not a Lame duck. She said I was pretty GOOD!
3. My real name is not William Jefferson Clinton. It’s William KENNEDY
Clinton.
2. I couldn’t control myself. It was genetic. I was in her jeans — oops, I
mean it was in my genes.
AND for those of you who remember the famous “I DIDN’T INHALE” comes the now
soon to be famous #1 excuse…
1. “I didn’t insert!”

Q: What does Clinton say to interns as they leave his office?
A: Don’t hit your head on the desk!

Q: What was Elders’ last official act?
A: A memo to Pee Wee Herman asking her to come up to Washington and give her a
hand.

A Marine Colonel on his way home from work at the Pentagon came to a dead halt in traffic and thought to himself, “Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual, nothing is moving.”

He notices a police officer walking back and forth between the lines of cars, so he rolls down his window and asks, “Excuse me, Officer, what seems to be the hold up?”

The officer replies, “The President is just so depressed that Hillary has moved to New York, and may leave him altogether that he just stopped his motorcade in the middle of the Beltway, and he’s threatening to douse himself in gasoline and set himself on fire.

He says his family absolutely hates him and he doesn’t have the $33.5 million he owes his lawyers for that whole Monica and Paula thing.

So I’m walking around taking up a collection for him.”

“Oh really? How much have you collected so far?”

“So far about three hundred gallons, but I’ve got a lot of folks still siphoning.”

Submitted by NCrespi
Edited by calamjo

Q: Why did a Bill Clinton send an unsigned check for a hundred dollars to a
charity?
A: He wanted to make an anonymous contribution.

The new president of Iraq said that he has some good news and some bad news!

The good news is that U.S. troops will probably be out of that country in two years.

…The bad news is they’ll be next door in Iran

Q: What is Clinton’s favorite war song?
A: “Over Here”

If the skeletons in Bill Clinton’s closet stood up at the same time…It would
look like the Chinese Army!