Category: bill clinton

This test only has one question but it’s a very important one.

By giving an honest answer you will discover where you stand morally.

The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision.

Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous.

Please scroll down slowly and consider each line.

You are in Florida.

Miami, to be exact.

There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding.

This is a flood of biblical proportions.

You are a photojournalist working for a major newspaper.

You’re caught in the middle of this great disaster.

The situation is nearly hopeless.

You’re trying to make a career out of shooting photos.

There are houses and people swirling around you.

Some are even disappearing under the water.

Nature is showing all of its destructive fury.

You see a woman in the water.

She is fighting for her life, trying not to be taken away with the debris.

You move closer . . somehow the woman looks familiar.

Suddenly you know who it is . . It’s Hillary Rodham Clinton!

At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to take her under, forever.

You have two options:

You can save her, or you can take the most dramatic photos of your life.

So, you can save the life of Hillary Clinton, or you can shoot a Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the death of one of the world’s most powerful women.

Here’s the question and please give an honest answer:

Would you select color film or would you rather go with the classic simplicity of black and white?

Submitted by Zab
Edited by Curtis

Q: Did you hear Chrysler is introducing a new car to
commemorate President Clinton’s election?
A: It’s gonna be called the Dodge Drafter!

During a recent publicity outing, Hillary sneaked off to visit a fortuneteller
of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the
mystic delivered grave news.
“There’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to
be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year.”
Visibly shaken, Hillary stared at the woman’s lined face, then at the single
flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to
compose herself. She simply had to know.
She met the fortuneteller’s gaze, steadied her voice, and asked her question.
“Will I be acquitted?”

1. The White House staff
2. His tiny advisor
3. The Nuclear Button
4. The Executive Branch
5. The Little POLLSTER
6. His Soft contribution
7. His pocket Veto
8. The Secret Servicer
9. The President Caucus
10. Little Rock

Q: What costume did Bill Clinton wear to a Halloween party that scared?
Everyone to death?
A: He came dressed as a two-term president.

This one is sickeningly cute:
One Sunday morning Chelsea burst into the living quarters at the White House
and said, “Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the
greatest hunk in Washington. He lives in Georgetown and his name is Matt.”
After dinner, the President took Chelsea aside. “Honey, I have to talk with
you. Your mother and I have been married a long time. She’s a wonderful wife but
she’s never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I used to fool around
with women a lot. Matt is actually your half-brother, and I’m afraid you can’t
marry him.” Chelsea was heart-broken.
After eight months she eventually started dating again. A year later she came
home and very proudly announced, “Robert asked me to marry him! We’re getting
married in June.” Again her father insisted on another private conversation and
broke the sad news.
“Robert is your half-brother too, honey. I’m awfully sorry about this.”
Chelsea was furious!
She finally decided to go to her mother with the news. “Dad has done so much
harm. I guess I’m never going to get married,” she complained. “Every time I
fall in love, Dad tells me the guy is my half-brother.”
Hillary just shook her head. “Don’t pay any attention to what he says, dear.
He’s not really your father.”

Al Gore and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One.

Bill looks at Al, chuckles and says, “You know, I could throw a $10,000 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy.”

Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, “Well, I could throw ten $1,000 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy”.

Hillary tosses her perfectly sprayed hair and says, “Of course, then, I could throw one-hundred $100 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy.”

Chelsea rolls her eyes, looks at all of them and says, “I could throw all of you out the window and make the whole country happy.”

Q: What does Hillary have in common with the city of Buffalo?
A: They both have Bills that are losers.

A man on his way home from work at the Pentagon came to a dead halt in traffic
and thought to himself, “Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual. Nothing’s
even moving.”

He notices a police officer walking back and forth between the lines of cars
so he rolls down his window and asks, “Excuse me Officer, what’s the hold up?”

The Officer replies, “The President just found out he was impeached and he’s
all depressed. He stopped his motorcade in the middle of the Beltway and he’s
threatening to douse himself in gasoline and set himself on fire. He says his
family hates him and he doesn’t have the $33.5 million he owes his lawyers.
I’m walking around taking up a collection for him.”

“Oh really? How much have you collected so far?”

“I’ve got a lot of folks still siphoning; but right now I have about three
hundred gallons.”

Jerry Falwell was seated next to President Clinton on a recent flight.
After the plane was airborne, the flight attendant came around for drink
orders. The President asked for a whiskey & soda, which was brought and
placed before him.

The attendant then asked the minister if he would also like a drink. The
minister replied in disgust, “Ma’am, I’d rather be savagely raped by a
brazen whore than let liquor touch these lips!”

The President then handed his drink back to the attendant and said,”I’m
sorry, I didn’t know there was a choice. I’ll have the same thing he’s
having.”

Q: Why does Chelsea look so stupid and ugly?
A: Heredity.

Q: Who/what are/were Ren & Stimpy?
A: Their other names for Bill and Al.

Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving
this year?
A: Because they’re sending their turkey to the White House!
A: Because they can’t afford any more pork.
A: Reagan ate all the jellybeans.
A: They’ve been having turkey FOR YEARS.
A: Because Bill is having Gennifer.
A: Because Clinton “invested” all the turkey.