Q: Why are they asking for $3.00 Presidential funds in this year’s tax returns
(Last year it was only $1.00)
A: Because The condom prizes have gone up!
Category: bill clinton
President’s day?
Did you hear about the Bill Clinton sale at clothing stores on President’s
day?
All pants half off.
To sit in the Oval Office and collect dust
Q: What’s Bill Clinton’s least expensive hobby?
A: To sit in the Oval Office and collect dust.
Swallow the leader.
Q: What game did Bill Clinton want Paula Jones to play?
A: Swallow the leader.
Ordering a quickie
Bill Clinton and Al Gore go into a local diner for lunch.
As they read the menu the waitress comes over and asks Clinton, “Are you ready to order?”
Clinton replies, “Yes, I’d like a quickie.”
“A quickie?” the waitress replies. “Sir, given the current situation of your personal life I don’t think that is a good idea. I’ll come back when you are ready to order from the menu.”
She walks away. Gore leans over to Clinton and says, “Bill, it’s pronounced ‘Quiche.'”
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by BreeBrown
Clinton Ice Cream Flavors
Slick Willie
Chunky Monkey
Double Nut Joy
Subpoenas ‘n’ Cream
Impeach-Mint
Candy Pants
Chocolate Chip Doughboy
Chilly Hillbilly
Vanilla Pantsachio
Subpoena Colada
Biscuits ‘n’ Gravy
Horny Bubba Crunch
Arkansas Peach
Subpoena Butter Cup
Peppermint Fattie
Captain Cream
Fat Ass
Tubby Bubba
Hillary Chiller
Fundraising Coffee
Oval Office Surprise
Arkansas Smoothie
Hyperactive Nuts
Scandal berry
Draft-Dodging Pot-Smoking Intern-Nailing Raspberry Swirl
Making People Happy
How to Avoid Bubba?
Al Gore and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One. Bill looks at Al,
chuckles and says, “You know, I could throw a $100 bill out the window right now
and make someone very happy�.
Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, “Well, I could throw ten $10 bills out
the window and make 10 people very happy�.
Hilary tosses her perfectly hair-sprayed hair and says, “I could throw one
hundred $1 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy�.
Chelsea rolls her eyes, looks at all of them, and says, “I could throw all
three of you out the window and make the whole country happy!”
From bad to worse Clinton style
A presidential staff advisor walks into the daily meeting a little late and notices that everyone has a glum look on their face — some even look a little frightened — and Clinton isn’t in the room.’What’s the matter’ he asked’Well, we had some bad news, and just got some even worse news”What’s the bad news?”India has detonated some atomic weapons at their underground test site; Pakistan has done the same at their proving area; and China is warning them both that this could lead to regional war — that may go nuclear.”Oh my God, what could be worse than that?”Bill just got hold of some Viagra’
Clinton’s Safe Sex
What’s Bill Clinton’s definition of safe sex?
When Hillary’s out of town!
Clinton’s Protection
Q: What did Clinton say when asked if he had used protection?
A: “Sure, there was a guard standing right outside the door.”
Clintons Parrot
While Bill, Hillary and Chelsea were vacationing at Camp David the housekeeper
was tasked with looking after their pet parrot. They hadn’t been gone for more
than a couple of days when the parrot was found dead in the bottom of its cage.
The housekeeper knew the first family would be desolate at the loss of one of
their family pets, so she set out to find a replacement bird and visited nearly
every pet store in Washington.
After nearly two days of looking no-stop, she came across an almost exact
duplicate of the bird. As she purchased the parrot, the shop owner cautioned her
that the bird had previously been owned by a Madam and had lived for several
years in a house of ill-repute.
The housekeeper replied that no one would ever know and she took the bird back
to the White House.
The morning after the Clintons return to the White House, Chelsea walked
through the room and the bird said, “Too young�.
A little later Hillary came into the room and the bird responded with, “Too
old�.
Late that afternoon the President entered the room and the bird said, “HI,
BILL!”
Hilarys hand
President Clinton wakes up to a beautiful winter morning. The sun is shining, the air is crisp, and there is a light blanket of snow on the ground. He stretches and goes to look out the window at the snow-covered White House lawn and sees the words “President Clinton sucks” written in pee in the snow. Clinton gets all upset and calls White House Security. He tells them he doesn’t care what it takes but he wants to know who did this.
The Chief of Security returns in a couple of days to the President and tells him that he has good news, bad news, and real bad news. “OK,” says Clinton, “give me the good news first, then the bad news, and then the real bad news.”
The Chief says: “The good news is after taking analysis of the pee, we know who the culprit is.”
Clinton nods and the Chief continues: “The bad news is the culprit is Vice President Gore.”
This really upsets the President, but he controls his anger and asks the Chief to tell him the real bad news.
The Chief of Security swallows and says, “It’s in Hilary’s hand writing”.