Category: bill clinton

What did Clinton say the night after the Lewinsky story broke?
What A Bad Tripp.

Why does Bill Clinton wear underwear?

To keep his ankles warm.

The Center for Disease Control just announced that the White House has proven that it is indeed possible to get sex from aides.

Q: What’s yellow hen-pecked and lays chicks?
A: Bill Clinton

What was the White House Chief of Staff’s reaction to Lewinsky’s story?

Now I know why they kept calling her the head intern!

It is the 33rd anniversary of the Watergate break-in.

That was a time when the president of the United States couldn’t be trusted to tell the American people the truth… thirty years ago… but it feels like yesterday.

-Jay Leno

Al Gore was jogging down the streets of Washington D.C. one day when he came
across a young boy looking at something in a box. Al decided to stop and talk to
the boy. Al asked the young man,” What are you looking at?” and the young boy
replied�, I am looking at my new kittens”. That is really terrific young man,
what are their names? At that the young boy replied, “I call them Democrats”.
That is wonderful young man, it is good to see someone so young know so much
about politics. Well said Al, I have to be going now see you later. The little
boy said goodbye and Al Gore left to continue jogging. The next day Al went
jogging again and this time he brought Bill Clinton with him. Al had told Bill
about the young boy and his kittens, and wanted to jog on the same street. Sure
enough the little boy was there with his box and his kittens. As the two men
approached, the little boy said “Hi Mr. Vice-President, did you come back to see
my kittens?” Al replied, “Why yes I did, and I brought the President with me
this time, now son tell us again what you named these kittens.” The little boy
said, “Sure! I call them Republicans.” Al Gore was stunned, he asked the little
boy, “Why do you call them Republicans today, and just yesterday they were
Democrats?” “Well,” said the little boy “they have their eyes open today”.

Q: What was the first thing Clinton said when Francisco
Martin Duran started shooting at the White House?
A: Oh #*@$! You’re husband’s outside and he’s PISSED!

Monica walks into her dry cleaning store and tells the guy, “I’ve got another dress for you to clean.”

Slightly hard of hearing, the clerk replies, “Come again?”

“No,” says Monica. “Mustard.”

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by BreeBrown

Why did Bill get into this problem?

He didn’t know that harass was one word.

First Lady Hillary Clinton and Attorney General Janet Reno were having one of those girl to girl talks.

Hillary said to Janet, “You’re lucky that you don’t have to put up with men having sex with you. I have to put up with Bill, and there is no telling where he last had his pecker.”

Janet responded, “Just because I am esthetically challenged (that’s “politically correct” for ugly) doesn’t mean I don’t have to fight off unwelcome sexual advances.”

Hillary asks, “Well, how do you deal with the problem?”

Janet, “Whenever I feel that a guy is getting ready to make a pass at me, I muster all my might and squeeze out the loudest, nastiest fart that I can.”

That night, Bill was already in bed with the lights out when Hillary slips into bed. She could hear him start to stir, and knew that he would be wanting some action. She had been saving her farts all day, and was ready for him.

She tenses up her butt cheeks and forces out the most disgusting sounding fart you could imagine.

Bill rolls over and says, “Janet, is that you?

The Spelling Bee…Dan Quayle, Frank Gifford and Bill Clinton were in a
spelling contest. Unbelievably, Dan Quayle won! He was the only one of the three
who knew that ‘harass’ was one word.