This guy goes to sperm bank to give a sample.So the girl At the front desk says to him. ” Thank you for coming.”
Author: admin
Difference With Computer
Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once!
Men Abuse
How do you get a man to do situps?
Glue the TV remote between his ankles…
What kind of clothes are there?
women: clean & dirty
Men: Clean,almost clean,sorta clean,not bad,dirty,really dirty,nasty, biohazzard. (Men will voluntarily wear all but the last classification of these clothes).
Why do Black widow spiders kill there mates after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts..
How was Colonel Sanders a typical male?
All he cared about was legs ,breasts and thighs…
How is being at the singles bar different from being at the circus?
At the circus the clowns don’t talk…
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
Just when it’s getting interesting they are finished until next time…
What do men have in common with toilet bowls, aniversaries, and clitorises?
They miss them all.
What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.
What’s the difference between government bonds and men?
Bonds mature.
What’s the difference bewtween a man and a catfish?
One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.
What did God say after creating man?
I can do better.
Husband: Want a quickie?
Wife: As opposed to what?
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can’t stand criticism.
I went to the County Fair. They had one of those “Believe it or not?” shows. They had a man born with a penis and a brain.
What do you have when you have two little balls in your hand?
A man’s undivided attention.
How is a man like a snowstorm?
Because you don’t know when he’s coming, how many inches you’ll get, or how long it’ll stay.
Did you hear about the banker who’s a great lover?
He knows first hand the penalty for early withdrawal.
Why do jocks play on artificial turf?
To keep from grazing.
Why do men name their penises?
Because they want to be on a first name basis with the person who makes all their decisions.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
Because they already have boyfriends!
Did you hear the one about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics?
He had it bronzed.
Ghy do men like masturbation?
It’s sex with someone they love.
What is gross stupidity?
144 men in one room.
Husband: I don’t know why you wear a bra, you’ve got nothing to put in it?
Wife: You wear briefs don’t you?
What’s the difference bewtween a porcupine and a Corvette?
The porcupine has pricks on the outside.
How many men does it take to pop popcorn?
Three. One to hold the pan and two others to show off and shake the stove.
What is a man’s view of safe sex?
A padded headboard.
The paki
what do u call a paki walking up a wall .black magic
Argument
A discussion that occurs when you’re right, but he just hasn’t
realized it yet.
It was the first day of school and a new student…
It was the first day of school and a new student named Suzuki, the son of a
Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade.
The teacher said, “Let’s begin by reviewing some American history. Who said
“Give me Liberty, or give me Death?”
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Suzuki, who had his hand up.
“Patrick Henry, 1775.”
“Very good! Who said ‘Government of the people, by the people, for the
people, shall not perish from the earth'”?
Again, no response except from Suzuki: “Abraham Lincoln, 1863.”
The teacher snapped at the class, “Class, you should be ashamed. Suzuki who
is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do.”
She heard a loud whisper: “F–k the Japanese.”
“Who said that?” she demanded.
Suzuki put his hand up. “Lee I Acocca, 1982.”
At that point, a student in the back sighed, “I’m gonna puke.”
The teacher glares and asks ‘All right! Now, who said that?”
Again, Suzuki says, “George Bush to Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.”
Now furious, another student yells, ‘Oh yeah? Suck this!”
Suzuki jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher,
“Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!”
Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said, ” You little shit if you ever
say anything else I will have you killed.”
Suzuki is frantic and yells at the top of his voice,
“Gary Condit to Chandra Levy 2001.”
The teacher fainted.
Isolated Lighthouse
The two men stood on the lonely lighthouse. Through the fog they could see a small boat making its way toward them, with a lonely occupant. Suddenly a squall lifted the craft and tossed the man into the water. The two men on shore sprang into action. Hurriedly they launched their own craft and fought their way through perilous and treacherous waters to reach the man. At last they got him aboard their boat.”It’s a good thing you rescued me,” the dripping man said gratefully.”I was coming out to see you about your income tax.”
En un pueblecito hay dos
En un pueblecito hay dos familias jud�as, y quieren casar a las hijas; pero como no hay chicos judios en el pueblo, deciden unirse para buscarlos por los pueblos de los alrededores. Finalmente encuentran dos excelentes partidos, y les invitan a que vayan a conocer el pueblo. Pero resulta que uno de los j�venes se arrepiente por el camino, y s�lo uno de ellos llega. Y es una joyita, as� que las dos familias lo quieren. Total, que las dos familias empiezan a discutir de quien es el novio, y como la cosa no se aclara, deciden hablar con el rabino m�s viejo de los alrededores.
“Lo que haremos es muy simple. Partiremos al chico por la mitad, y le daremos un trozo a cada familia para que no haya discusiones.”
Entonces la madre de una de las novias dice: “No, por favor, pobre muchacho, �c�mo le van a hacer eso?”
Pero la otra madre dice: “�Eso! �Eso! �Que lo partan! �Que lo descuarticen!”
Entonces el rabino mira a la segunda madre que gritaba con los ojos inyectados en sangre y le dice: “El chico se casa con su hija; usted es la verdadera suegra.”
Yo mama is so fat
Yo mama so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
Japanese Banking Disasters
According to inside contacts, the Japanese banking crisis shows no signs of
stopping. If anything, it’s getting worse.
Following last week’s news that Origami Bank had folded, we are hearing
that Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank plans to cut back some of its
branches. Karaoke Bank is up for sale and is (you guessed it!) going for a
song.
Meanwhile, shares in Kamikaze Bank have nose-dived and 500
back-office staff at Karate Bank got the chop. Analysts report that there is
something fishy going on at Sushi Bank and staff there fear they may get a raw
deal.
You consider duct tape and
You consider duct tape and tarp straps necessities for auto body repair.You raise the confederate flag in the bed of your truck whenever you go for a drive.You can’t wait for the Saturday night square dance.
Lung transplant
What’s the worst part of having a lung transplant?
Coughing up someone else’s phlegm.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo