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Una noche la mujer de la pareja de reci�n casados escucha ruidos afuera de la casa, y le dice a su marido:
“Mi amor, mi amor creo que hay algiuen afuera.”
“Afuera no hay nadie, du�rmete.”
“Pero mi amor, hay alguien.”
“Du�rmete, ya me tienes harto.”
“Por lo menos as�mate a la ventana para que parezca que tenemos perro…”
your mama is like a vacumecleaner she sucks and blows
The local Sheriff was looking for a new deputy.
When a blonde walks in to try for the job, he asks her “Okay, what is 1 and 1?”
“Eleven”, she replies.
The Sheriff thinks to himself, “Thats not what I wanted, but I guess she’s right!”
“What two days of the week begin with the letter T?” he asks.
“Today and Tomorrow”, the blonde answers.
The Sheriff is again surprised that the blonde has supplied a correct answer that had not even occurred to him.
“Now listen carefully, who killed Abe Lincoln?” he asks her.
The blonde looks a little surprised. She thinks really hard for a minute and finally admits, “I don’t know.”
“Well, why don’t you go home and work on that one for a while?”
So, the blonde wanders over to the beauty parlor, where her pals are waiting to hear the results of the interview.
The blonde was exultant. “The interview went great!” she says. “First day on the job and I’m already working on a murder case!”
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
Q.how do you fit an elephant into a subway? A.take the s away from sub and the f away from way
Did you hear about the guru who refused to let the dentist use
novocaine to numb his mouth?
The guru said he wanted to transcend dental medication.
Why do hoes wear panties??
A: Because they arepantie hoes.
Scoutmaster: Tenderfoot, how did you get that black eye?
Tenderfoot: Sir, I was hit by a guided muscle with a knucklear warhead!
Customer: “So that’ll get me connected to the Internet, right?”
Tech Support: “Yeah.”
Customer: “And that’s the latest version of the Internet, right?”
Tech Support: “Uhh…uh…uh…yeah.”
Q: What do you call a nun with a sex change operation?
A: A Tran-sister.
One morning a married couple woke up and decided to have sex. They looked over and saw there 12 month old son hopping up and down in the crib.
A Jewish lawyer was troubled by the way his son turned out, and went to see his Rabbi about it. “I brought him up in the faith, gave him a very expensive bar mitzvah, cost me a fortune to educate him. Then he tells me last week he has decided to be a Christian. Rabbi… where did I go wrong?”
“Funny you should come to me,” said the Rabbi. “Like you, I, too, brought my boy up in the faith, put him through University, cost me a fortune, then one day he comes and tells me he has decided to become a Christian.”
“What did you do?” asked the lawyer. “I turned to God for the answer,” replied the rabbi.
“And what did he say?”
He said, “Funny you should come to me…”
These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.114. Cover your bed with a tent. Live inside it for a week. If your roommate asks, explain that “It’s a jungle out there.” Get your roommate to bring you food and water.