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Un hombre blanco de complexi�n

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Un hombre blanco de complexi�n diminuta entra a un elevador. Adentro est� un corpulento negro. El negro dice:

“Dos metros 10 cent�metros, 160 kilos, miembro de 60 cent�metros, test�culo izquierdo de 1 kilo 500 gramos, test�culo derecho de 1 kilo 250 gramos. Me llamo Dante Voltta.”

El blanco cae desmayado al piso. El negro se alarma y se agacha a levantarlo. Trata de reanimarlo, lo agita y finalmente recobra la conciencia.

“�Qu� te pas�?”

“�Qu� me dijiste cuando entr�?”

El negro repite:

“Dos metros 10 cent�metros, 160 kilos, miembro de 60 cent�metros, test�culo izquierdo de 1 kilo 500 gramos, test�culo derecho de 1 kilo 250 gramos. Me llamo Dante Voltta.”

El hombre blanco dice:

“�Gracias al cielo!, pens� que hab�as dicho �DATE VUELTA!”

Dangerous Food

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A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. ‘The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the germs in our drinking water. But, there is something that is perhaps more dangerous than anything else.’ The dietician peered into the crowd and asked, ‘Can anyone here tell me what lethal product I’m referring to?’

A handful of people in the audience raised their hands with possible answers.

‘Yes, you, sir, in the first row,’ said the dietician. ‘Please give us your idea.’

The man grinned and blurted, ‘Wedding cake!’

Top Ten Marketing Screw Ups

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1. Coors put its slogan, “Turn it loose,” into Spanish, where it
was read as “Suffer from diarrhea.”

2. Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the
following in an American campaign: “Nothing sucks like an
Electrolux.”

3. Clairol introduced the “Mist Stick”, a curling iron, into
German only to find out that “mist” is slang for manure. Not too
many people had use for the “manure stick.”

4. When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used
the same packaging as in the U.S., with the beautiful Caucasian
baby on the label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies
routinely put pictures on the label of what’s inside, since most
people can’t read.

5. Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the
name of a notorious porno magazine.

6. An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the
Spanish market which promoted the Pope’s visit. Instead of “I
saw the Pope” (el Papa), the shirts read “I saw the potato” (la
papa).

7. Pepsi’s “Come alive with the Pepsi Generation” translated
into “Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave”, in
Chinese.

8. Frank Perdue’s chicken slogan, “it takes a strong man to make
a tender chicken” was translated into Spanish as “it takes an
aroused man to make a chicken affectionate.”

9. The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as “Ke-kou-ke-la”,
meaning “Bite the wax tadpole” or “female horse stuffed with
wax”, depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000
characters to find a phonetic equivalent “ko-kou-ko-le”,
translating into “happiness in the mouth.”

10. When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in Mexico, its ads
were supposed to have read, “it won’t leak in your pocket and
embarrass you”. Instead, the company thought that the word
“embarazar” (to impregnate) meant to embarrass, so the ad read:
“It won’t leak in your pocket and make you pregnant.”