Author: admin

One day, after striking gold in Alaska, a Lonesome miner came down from the mountains and walked into a saloon in the nearest town.

“I’m lookin’ for the meanest toughest and roughest hooker in the Yukon,” he said to the bartender.

“We got her” replied the bartender. “She’s upstairs in the second room on the right.

The miner handed the bartender a gold nugget to pay for the hooker and two beers .

He grabbed the bottles, stomped up the stairs, kicked the door open on the second door on the right and yelled, “I’m looking for the meanest roughest and toughest hooker in the Yukon.”

The woman inside the room looked at the miner and said, “You found her!”

Then she stripped naked, bent over and grabbed her ankles. “How do you know I want that position first?” asked the miner.

“I don’t replied the hooker, “but I thought you might want to open those beers first.”

Some more terms for the TECHNO OFFICE DICTIONARYPerot To quit unexpectedly, as in ‘My cellular phone just perot’ed.’CLM (Career-Limiting Move) Used among microserfs to describe an ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM. Treeware Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material.Dead Tree Edition The paper version of a publication available in both paper and electronic forms, as in: ‘The dead tree edition of the San Francisco Chronicle…’ Dilberted To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. Derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip character. ‘I’ve been dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week.’ World Wide Wait The real meaning of WWW.CGI Joe A hard-core CGI script programmer with all the social skills and charisma of a plastic action figure. Dorito Syndrome Feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction triggered by addictive substances that lack nutritional content. ‘I just spent six hours surfing the Web, and now I’ve got a bad case of Dorito Syndrome.’ Under Mouse Arrest Getting busted for violating an on-line service’s rule of conduct. ‘Sorry I couldn’t get back to you. AOL put me under mouse arrest.’ Glazing Corporate-speak for sleeping with your eyes open. A popular pastime at conferences and early-morning meetings. ‘Didn’t he notice that half the room was glazing by the second session?’ Graybar Land The place you go while you’re staring at a computer that’s processing something very slowly (while you watch the gray bar creep across the screen). ‘I was in graybar land for what seemed like hours, thanks to that CAD rendering.’ Open-Collar Workers People who work at home or telecommute.Squirt The Bird To transmit a signal up to a satellite. ‘Crew and talent are ready… what time do we squirt the bird?’ Cobweb Site A World Wide Web Site that hasn’t been updated for a long time. A dead web page. It’s a Feature From the adage ‘It’s not a bug, it’s a feature.’ Used sarcastically to describe an unpleasant experience that you wish to gloss over. Keyboard Plaque The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards. ‘Are there any other terminals I can use? This one has a bad case of keyboard plaque.’ Adminisphere The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. Gray Matter Older, experienced business people hired by young entrepreneurial firms looking to appear more reputable and established. Salmon Day The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed in the end. 404 Someone who is clueless, from the World Wide Web error message, ‘404 Not Found’, meaning the requested document couldn’t be located. ‘Don’t bother asking him, he’s 404’. 411 Information, to provide information, or to point someone in the right direction. From the telephone number to phone company information lines. ‘Thanks for the 411’

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy’s, one of the largest department store chains. He shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said. ‘I’d like to buy a bra for my wife”What type of bra?’ asked the clerk.’Type?’ inquires the man ‘There is more than one type?”Look Around,’ said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size color and material.’Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only three types of bras,’ replied the salesclerk.Confused, the man asked what were the types.The saleslady replied ‘The Catholic type, the, Salvation Army type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?’Still confused the man asked ‘What is the difference between them?’The lady responded ‘It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, and the and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills.