YOUR MAMA IS SO FAT….
* When she hauls ass she has to make two trips.
* When she dances she makes the band skip.
* When she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease the doctor gave her
13 years to live.
* She puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
* Her ass has its own congressman.
* Her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.
* When she goes to the zoo the elephants throw her peanuts.
* Her high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph.
* Her driver’s license says “Picture continued on other side.”
* The back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs.
* “Place Your Ad Here” is printed on each of her butt cheeks.
* All the restaurants in town have signs that say: Maximum Occupancy: 240
Patrons OR Yo Mama”
* When she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.
* When she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.
* She was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.
* She’s got smaller fat women orbiting around her.
* When I yell “Kool-Aid,” she comes crashing through the wall.
* She could sell shade.
* When she crosses the street, cars look out for her.
* People jog around her for exercise.
* She gets runs in her jeans.
* Her blood type is Ragu.
* When she goes to a restaurant, she doesn’t get a menu, she gets an
estimate.
* If she got her shoes shined, she’d have to take his word for it!
* She has to put her belt on with a boomerang.
* When she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party.
* She can’t even jump to a conclusion.
* She went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
* Her belly button doesn’t have lint, it has sweaters.