You may be the redneck if
… your stall warning plays “Dixie�.
… your cross-country flight plan uses flea markets as check points.
… you think sectionals charts should show trailer parks.
… you’ve ever used moonshine as avgas.
… you have mud flaps on your wheel pants.
… you think GPS stands for going perfectly straight.
… your toothpick keeps poking your mike.
… you constantly confuse Beech craft with Beechnut.
… just before impact, you are heard saying, “Hey y’all, watch this!”
… you have a black airplane with a big #3 on the side.
… you’ve ever just taxied around the airport drinking beer.
… you use a Purina feed bag for a windsock.
… you fuel your wiz bang 140 from a Mason jar.
… you wouldn’t be caught dead flying’ a Grumman “Yankee�.
… you refer to flying in formation as “We got ourselves a convoy!”
… there is a sign on the side of your aircraft advertising your septic tank
service.
… when you are the owner of Red Neck Airlines and pilot of Redneck
One.
… you subscribe to The Southern Aviator because of the soft paper!
… you have ever incorporated sheetrock into the repair of your aircraft.
… you have ever responded to ATC with the phrase “That’s a big 10-4!”
… you typically answer female controllers with titles like “sugar” or
“little darling’.”
… she responds with the words “Honey” or “Big guy” then she may be a
redneck.
… you have ever used a relief tube as a spittoon.
… you glance down at your belt buckle to help you remember your N-number.
… you have ever tried to impress your girlfriend by buzzing her doublewide.
… the preprinted portion of your weight and balance sheet contains “Case of
Bud�.
… your go/no-go checklist includes the words “Shoal” or “Redman�.