– You and your teeth don’t sleep together.
– Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and
discover you aren’t wearing any.
– At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you’re
not eating cereal.
– Your back goes out, but you stay home.
– You wake up looking like your driver’s license picture.
– It takes two tries to get up from the couch.
– Happy hour is a nap.
– You’re on vacation, and your energy runs out before your money
does.
– You say something to your kids that your mother said to you,
and you always hated it.
– You look for your glasses for half an hour, and they were on
your head the whole time.
– You sink your teeth into a steak – and they stay there.
– All you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your
age.
– Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
– It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
– Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer.
– Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.
– The pharmacist has become your new best friend.
– Getting “lucky” means you found your car in the parking lot.
– It takes twice as long – to look half as good.
– Everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt – doesn’t work.
– You give up all your bad habits and still don’t feel good.
– You have more patience, but it is actually that you just don’t
care anymore.