- Paramedics bring in the Jaws of Life to pry you out of the EZ-Boy
- The “Gravy Boat” your wife set out was a real 12′ boat!
- You receive a Sumo Wrestler application in your e-mail
- Friday you set off 3 earthquake seismographs on your morning jog
- Pricking your finger for cholesterol screening only yielded gravy
- A guest quotes a Biblical passage from “The Feeding of the 5000”
- That rash on your stomach turns out to be steering wheel burn
- Representatives from the Butterball Hall of Fame called twice
- You consider gluttony your patriotic duty
- Your arms are too short to reach the keyboard & delete this