West Texas Guide to Computer Lingo

“Hard Drive” – Trying to climp a steep, muddy hill with 3 flat tires and pulling a trailer load of fertilizer.

“Keyboard” – Place to hang your truck keys.

“Window” – Place in the truck to hang your gun.

“Floppy” – When you run out of Polygrip.

“Modem” – How to get rid of your dandelions.

“ROM” – Delicious when you mix it with coca cola.

“Byte” – First word in a kiss-off phrase.

“Reboot” – What you do when the first pair gets covered with barnyard stuff.

“Network” – Activity meant to provide bait for your trout line.

“Mouse” – Fuzzy, soft thing you stuff in your beer bottle in order to get a free case.

“LAN” – To borrow as in, “Hey Delbert! LAN me yore truck.”

“Cursor” – What some guys do when they are mad at their wives/girlfriends.

“Bit” – A wager as in “I bit you can’t spit that watermelon seed across the porch longways.”

“Digital Control” – What yore fingers do on the TV remote.

“Packet” – What you do to a suitcase or Wal-Mart bag before a trip.

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