Twenty passengers cling to Kate Winslet’s implants for safety.
At the two-hour-and-20-minute mark, dinner guest No. 5 throws down his napkin and exclaims, “Will this darn movie ever end?”
A computer-generated Herve Villechaize screams, “De berg, de berg! Boss, de berg!”
Fearing that theme song will go on forever, Celine Dion’s grandma leaps from a lifeboat.
Rose’s evil betrothed reveals he’s really Jack’s father and suggests they overthrow the captain and rule the ship together, as father and son.
Captain Clinton shows Rose his dinghy.