Subject: Top 12 things you don’t want to hear from tech support12. ‘Do you have a sledgehammer or brick handy?’11. ‘… that’s right, not even MacGyver could fix it.’10. ‘So — what are you wearing?’ 9. ‘Bummer Duuuuuuuude’ 8. ‘Looks like you’re gonna need some new dilythium crystals, Cap’n.’7. ‘Press 1 for Support, Press 2 if you’re with 60 Minutes, Press 3 if you’re with the FTC’ 6. ‘We can fix this, but you’re gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape, and a car battery.’ 5. ‘I’m sorry, Dave. I’m afraid I can’t do that.’ 4. ‘In layman’s terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect.’ 3. ‘ Hold on a second……. Mom! Timmy’s hitting me!’ 2. ‘Okay, turn to page 523 in your copy of Dianetics.’ and the number 1 thing you don’t want to hear from tech support… 1. ‘Please hold for Mr. Gates’ attorney.’