Top 12 things likely to be overheard if you had a Klingon
Programmer
- “Specifications are for the weak and timid!”
- “This machine is a piece of gagh! I need dual Pentium processors
if I am to do battle with this code!” - “You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you’ve read it in
the original Klingon.” - “Indentation?! – I will show you how to indent when I indent your
skull!” - “What is this talk of ‘release’? Klingons do not make software
‘releases’. Our software ‘escapes’ leaving a bloody trail of
designers and quality assurance people in its wake.” - “Klingon function calls do not have ‘parameters’ – they have
‘arguments’ – and they always win them.” - “Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle
the weak.” - “I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth
contest. They will not concern us again.” - “A true Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!”
- “By filing this bug report you have challenged the honor of my
family… Prepare to die!” - “You question the worthiness of my code?
I should kill you where you stand!” - “Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it!
Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!”