1) The “Sermon on the Mount” would be a musical.
2) Jesus would *never* wear white after Labor Day.
3) Priests would get married… wait a minute… never mind.
4) The Gospels would be Matthew, Mark, Luke and Bruce.
5) Mary’s hair would be FLAWLESS.
6) The Temple would not have been cleansed of moneychangers, just re-decorated.
7) The water at the Wedding Feast of Canaan would have turned into dry martinis with just a splash of Curacao for color.
8) The Triumphal Entry just screams for a drag number.
9) Replace the “Beatitudes” with “Fabulous are they…”
10) The Last Supper would have been a brunch.