(but probably wishes he had)
- Every teen-ager should get a high school education — even if they already know everything
- Somethings that cost $5 to buy several years ago now costs $10 just to repair
- A synonym is a word you use in place of one you can’t spell
- The outcome of the income depends on the outgo for the upkeep
- Here’s a new invention — a solar-powered clothes dryer. It’s called a clothes line
- Leaders go down in history — some farther down than others
- Any man who laughs at women’s clothes has never paid the bill for them
- Four-word story of failure: Hired, tired, mired, fired
- For every judge operating in an official capacity, there are 100 who are self-appointed
- It is when we forget ourselves that we do things that are most likely to be remembered
- The more you know, the more you know you ought to know
- The argument you just won with your spouse isn’t over yet
- The law of gravitation is the only law that everybody observes