Things Not to Say to a Naked Woman

1 Cool, I’ve never been to the Grand Canyon.

2 How many storage boxes can you fit in there?!?

3 You must be very experienced.

4 Remember, you said this was a freebie…right?

5 Wait, let me get a board and rope so I don’t fall in.

6 I gotta take off my watch, wouldn’t wanna lose it.

7 Why do you wear a bra when you’ve already got a belt.

8 Would you mind rolling around in this flour.

9 I heard carpenters dream about you.

10 So this is why you’re supposed to judge people on personality.

11 Look.. I can get my whole arm in.

12 It’s a good thing you have so many other talents.

13 Is that an optical illusion?

14 If I look right at it I feel like I’m falling in.

15 Would you mind wearing a paper sack on your head?

16 Do you mind if I wear one too…in case yours falls off?

17 Jeez…What ya got up there, dead fish?

18 I heard you could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.

19 Have you ever thought of working in a sideshow?

20 I’ve been wondering all night what that smell was.

21 Maybe if I get really wasted I wont mind your body.

22 You know they have surgery to fix that.

23 Everybody down at the bar said you were good.

24 Oh, that’s why they call it a Wonderbra, it makes those lines go away

25 Huh? They told me your name was Jezebel.

26 I expect a good time, at least, the bathroom wall said so.

27 You’re not as ugly as people claim, not quite anyway.

28 You’re not ‘that’ fat.

29 I see why everyone said, with you, it’s better with the lights out.

30 Wow, you like it the same way your little sister does.

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