20> Failure is not an option. For you, it’s inevitable.
19> Seek and you shall find. Find and it’s your problem, so better think twice about that seeking stuff.
18> Your most inspired work will never be as frequently seen as a fake nude of Britney.
17> Just say “can’t.”
16> Plagiarism: Anyone can be daring and original, but it requires big brass balls to take credit without expending any effort. YOU HEAR THAT, YOU “WACKY” RADIO MORNING SHOW LOSERS?!?
15> There isn’t that much difference between a “winner” and a “whiner.” Or a “wiener,” too, for that matter.
14> Don’t forget: It’s never too late to run away screaming.
13> Unless you’re the lead dog, the view never changes. But hey, snickering at the lead dogs as they walk into all the cobwebs and step in all the poop ain’t such a bad life.
12> Death: Remember, its cold, bony hand can be a comfort.
11> Determination: Keep your eyes on the prize or you may end up spending 20 years designing motivational posters. Please, somebody shoot me!
10> When the load gets tough, the tough get loaded.
9> There’s no “I” in “TEAM.” And while you were busy spell-checking, your co-worker took all the credit for that project you were working on.
8> Life is a marathon, not a sprint. So think twice before super-sizing that next order of fries, tubby.
7> Just shut up and drink the Kool-Aid.
6> Marketing: “Efforting to shift the organizational paradigm through dynamic manipulation of throughput structures” will get you promoted, but “wanking in the executive washroom” will get you fired.
5> Be honest with your neighbors. It’s not just a good idea, it’s Megan’s law.
4> Integrity: That and a buck will buy you some coffee while everyone else is sleeping their way toward raises and bigger offices.
3> Anything in the world worth doing is– HEY! FREE BAGELS IN THE CONFERENCE ROOM!
2> A morning without smiles is like a workday.
1> Moving ahead of your co-workers can be easy, provided you’re willing to risk several consecutive life sentences.
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]