19> Only does patterns by Laura Ashley.
18> While working on your back, he keeps mumbling, “Damn,
you breathed again.”
17> Sundays feature their “Number of the Beast” special.
16> Needles sterilized with a quick dip in a shot of Cuervo.
15> Recently had their grant revoked by the National
Endowment for the Arts.
14> Doesn’t offer option between “young Elvis” and “Vegas Elvis.”
13> A thousand head of cattle in the waiting room.
12> Artist keeps knocking back slugs from the bottle of
rubbing alcohol “just to steady the ol’ nerves.”
11> Work samples on the walls are actual pieces of skin.
10> “Whaddaya mean you DON’T want a swastika?!!?”
9> You ask for roses intertwined around a logic
diagram of a basic 4-bit integer divide circuit, and they just
have NO IDEA.
8> Your appointment is always being rescheduled to
accommodate some die-hard KISS fan.
7> Mickey Rourke carried out on a stretcher as you
arrive.
6> There is an indescribable, existential malaise in
the air.
5> Tipper Gore in next chair getting her hair done.
4> The only bikes parked outside are Schwinns and
Huffys.
3> You’re served petit fours and cappuccino while
waiting.
2> Nothing sterile in sight, unless you count the
employees with their court-ordered vasectomies.
1> Your “Jesus on the Cross” constantly mistaken
for “Gabe Kaplan Playing Golf.”
List
www.topfive.com ] [ Copyright 1996,
2005 by Chris White ]