18> Three Words: Sigma Alpha Macarena.
17> Nobody joins in your armpit rendition of “Louie, Louie.”
16> Each meeting turns into an argument between the two of you
about who gets to be president and who gets to be vice
president.
15> Every spring break: a bitchin’ road trip to the Nixon
Library.
14> You’re the ONLY minority to pledge Kappa Kappa Kappa.
13> A bunch of college guys sitting around knitting and
reading romance novels is just too damn weird.
12> Assembly room features a runway and posters of Dennis Rodman
in drag.
11> The secret handshake involves removing your pants.
10> Pledge week started with a shaved head and toga party,
but now you’re selling flowers at the airport.
9> “Republican Convention?!? ROOOOAD
TRIIIIP!”
8> “Tropical Nights” party is authentic right down to
the malaria epidemic.
7> Initiation involves flying a crop duster over the
White House.
6> Every time someone yells “Biff! Muffy’s on the
phone!” the whole damn house comes running.
5> Every Monday night is “Melrose
Place”/self-breast-exam night.
4> In EVERY room, at EVERY function, out of EVERY
speaker: John Tesh
3> Their idea of a wild party: slam out a few pages of
code, then memorize “Star Trek” dialogue.
2> Their good looks, fabulous wealth, and popularity
are sure signs that they’re gonna get their comeuppance in a
big, humiliating way by a ragtag group of misfits at
homecoming.
1> “Smegma” may sound like a letter in the Greek
alphabet, but it’s not.
[ The Top 5
List
www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 1996, 2005 by Chris
White ]