17> As you board the plane, you find the “Occupied” sign is up on your “private cabin.”
16> Every time you get back from a sightseeing excursion, Mr. Blix demands to know if you found anything.
15> “Alabamastan” ain’t really a country in Eastern Europe.
14> It turns out that Cawker City, Kansas, only has the world’s *second* largest ball of twine!!!
13> Your “singles” cruise turns out to be a cargo ship full of Kraft American cheese slices.
12> On your descent into Auckland, you catch a glimpse of the Golden Gate Bridge.
11> You’ve driven halfway around New Zealand and have yet to see a single Hobbit.
10> Your Turkish tour guide says, “On your left you see my ping-pong table. Now I KISS YOU!!!”
9> Getting repeatedly screwed by the hotel isn’t what you expected when you signed up for the “Malaysian Sex Tour.”
8> Sun? Check.
Sand? Check.
Carrying an M16 while being shouted at by a drill sergeant? Uh-oh.
7> You asked for a room with a view in Manhattan. You got a peep-show booth in Times Square.
6> The “Transylvania” tour is nothing but a visit to a Polish union town in Ohio led by a couple of Goth chicks.
5> You’re amazed at the number of Australians who know how to yodel.
4> “Afghani-Disney” appears to be nothing but two guys and a real mouse.
3> Hey, isn’t that Kate Winslet and Leo DiCaprio on the Lido deck?
2> Snow White looks real enough, but you don’t remember the Elephant Man’s remains being part of Disneyland.
1> Your “around the world” cruise involves his tongue.
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]