17> New bill to ban assault weapons specifically mentions your
family.
16> Your vacations are planned through AA instead of AAA.
15> Your mother and your preteen sister always fighting over the
last beer.
14> In the middle of family reunion, FBI cuts power to ranch.
13> Bikers next door always complaining about the noise.
12> Local police save money by making your house a precinct
substation.
11> Brother is writing nostalgic screenplay, “A Menendez Family
Christmas.”
10> Your new little sister is named after a famous serial killer.
9> Holidays usually celebrated by sniffing glue and
kicking a toaster around the house.
8> Your son informs you he doesn’t care to be your
cellmate anymore.
7> You have to buy separate Mother’s Day cards for
each of Mom’s personalities.
6> Family discussions usually begin with, “Put the gun
down.”
5> You *finally* get your work published in a major
newspaper and your rat-bastard brother sics the Feds on you.
4> Instead of saying grace before dinner, father reads
a passage from Penthouse Forum.
3> Thanksgiving Dinner consists of Wild Turkey instead
of roast turkey.
2> Didn’t make today’s Top 5 List? Dad holds
ya, Mom beats ya.
1> No more sunny breakfast nook now that kitchen is a
meth lab.
[ The Top 5
List
www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 1996, 2005 by Chris
White ]