16> Tom Brady ripping off his jersey to reveal Patriot-logo pasties.
15> Newborns apparently aren’t the only things Jackson family members like to dangle in front of large audiences.
14> Counting Kid Rock and Justin Timberlake, there were actually THREE boobs exposed.
13> Nelly’s tearful admission that his constant crotch-grabbing is an unfortunate consequence of genital herpes.
12> Not to be upstaged by Janet Jackson’s missing costume, P. Diddy performed without any talent.
11> Live footage from the Panthers’ locker room of Howard Dean’s rabid halftime speech.
10> Teenaged boys the world over spent the entire third quarter in the bathroom.
9> Janet Jackson was convinced that if the world saw her exposed breast, there would be six more weeks of winter.
8> Justin Timberlake being immediately awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor for alerting security to the presence of a ninja assassin who could have taken out half the crowd with her concealed throwing star.
7> With a chance to put it away, Justin Timberlake decided not to go for two.
6> Kid Rock’s neck is actually more of a rusty cinnamon hue.
5> That was actually Michael’s nose covering Janet’s nipple.
4> P. Diddy being introduced as “His P’ness.”
3> That streaker? A hopelessly lost Richard Hatch.
2> John Ashcroft frantically rushing around draping curtains over 90 million TV sets.
1> Move over, Britney! America has a new First Skank!
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ] [ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ]