15> The term “tailgate party” seems to have taken on an entirely different meaning.
14> Your new uniforms: fishnet jerseys with red velvet pants.
13> The halftime show is a live version of the Kama Sutra.
12> That rainbow-wigged freak in the stands wears a shirt saying: “Johns 69:$80.”
11> You’re still in the locker room when your manager yells for you to “get a piece of it.”
10> For $100, your goalie will let anyone score.
9> Patrick Ewing came out of retirement and is playing for league minimum.
8> You’re dead last in the division, but your “Madame Rosie’s Got Game” T-shirts are selling on eBay for $2,000.
7> Concession stand burgers come with a side order of French ticklers.
6> Your team is the Washington Foreskins.
5> You now take it as a compliment when the opposing team calls you a bunch of pussies.
4> At the team tryouts, they ask you to “Bend It Like Beckham” — and you’re a basketball player.
3> You still suck, but now it costs the opposing team an extra $20.
2> “Yo! Condom man!”
1> “Oh, baby! Don’t stop!! Oh, yes! Yes! GOOOOOAAAALLL!! GOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAALLL!!!”
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]