15> Everybody gets a stogie but you.
14> You suspect Mom has been breastfeeding Dad behind your back, but you can’t prove it.
13> Bouncing, bouncing, always with the bouncing!
12> “Hey, *you’re* the one eating the garlic salami, don’t you dare complain about how *I* smell!”
11> Two boobs, but only one mouth.
10> No more “new womb” smell.
9> Milk, milk, milk, milk, milk! You can’t throw one lousy ribeye in a blender?
8> Mohels with a bad case of the shakes.
7> Mommy’s implants, while apparently essential to Daddy’s happiness, are seriously impeding your breakfast.
6> Hanging out at hotels is scary. (Michael Jackson’s newborns only)
5> My body, *MY* foreskin!
4> “The bough breaks and… they fall down? THEY ALL FALL DOWN?!? No wonder I can’t sleep!”
3> You’re still *months* from figuring out how to grab your private bits.
2> Losing that cool swept-back alien skull look after the first week.
1> Every time you finally get your diaper just the way you want it, some idiot comes along and changes it.
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]