The Top 15 Other Benefits of Smoking Pot

15> Gets babes so wasted that even geeky research scientists have a shot at scoring.

14> Combats hyperactivity. Or activity, for that matter.

13> Even decades after episodic non-inhalatory usage, subject is inspired towards adventurous sexual encounters and visions of bridges to the 21st century.

12> Share quality time with your children, because Pokemon cartoons become fun for the WHOLE family!

11> Constant giggling is great for the abs.

10> Magically renders sports slo-mo replays indistinguishable from the original.

9> Enables Frito-Lay stockholders to purchase much nicer cars and homes.

8> Relative harmlessness of a cool, mellow buzz allows an ex-stoner to take the moral high ground during presidential debates against an ex-cokehead.

7> *Really* pisses off Nancy Reagan.

6> Transforms complete noise into beautiful, enchanting music (Grateful Dead fans only).

5> Drastically reduces your risk of becoming a Supreme Court Judge.

4> Allows for long enlightening chats with Isaac Asimov on the wonders of the universe — even though he’s dead.

3> Expiration dates on household food items rendered instantly meaningless.

2> Almost makes “Saturday Night Live” funny again!

1> Without pot: $10,000 home entertainment system with 50″ high-definition TV, 12 speakers and THX Surround-Sound.With pot: $20 lava lamp.

[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]

[ Copyright 2000 by Chris White ]
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