15> Her rage-induced fits have turned synchronized swimming into a contact sport.
14> He was forced to give up hockey because he kept falling through the ice.
13> Claims he gets a better feel at the plate when he uses his forearm instead of a bat.
12> He finishes the race third, but the vein in his forehead comes in first.
11> His sacrifice bunt attempt just decapitated the shortstop.
10> The winning greyhound catches the mechanical rabbit, devours it in one bite, then poops out metal shavings.
9> Her pre-game handshake reduces opposing team captain’s hand to a fine powder.
8> His center-ice spin pulls some of the smaller skaters into orbit around him.
7> Whenever he’s asked to make a muscle, he pulls out a syringe.
6> “What a terrible spill on the far turn! … Hold on! The jockey is *carrying* Ton O’ Bricks to the finish line!”
5> For the first time in his long career, Krcyszewslovisowsky’s name fits on his uniform.
4> He body-checks the other players and warns them to stay away or face his violent wrath. At the first tee.
3> She leads her coed softball league in home runs, RBI and sperm count.
2> After kicking the winning goal she still rips off her shirt, but now she also turns green and flips over the opposing team’s bus.
1> “… and starting at nose tackle for the NY Giants… Brian Boitano!”
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ] [ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ]