15> Send an unmanned probe to the distant Milky Way galaxy.
14> Launch satellites that can make big bunny shadows on the moon every night.
13> Sell the sun to Halliburton so that they can corner the solar-energy market, too.
12> Determine if the moon is made of stinky French cheese or God’s cheese, Velveeta.
11> Finally send a rescue team to retrieve that poor lost dog, Pluto.
10> Shoot 500 poor people into space every week until decent folks feel safe to walk at night again.
9> A mission to locate his Air National Guard unit that he couldn’t find during the Vietnam War.
8> Move the moon closer, so we can just fly there by airplane.
7> Instead of useless gray, use giant spotlights to make the moon’s color reflect the current terror alert level.
6> Find the black hole that Al Gore’s career got sucked into; seal it forever.
5> Find the Robinson family before that Dr. Smith jerk gets them all killed.
4> The Howard Dean Space Station — complete with Howard Dean in permanent residence.
3> Increase funding to NAPA to help the search for intelligent life.
2> Finally land a man on the sun — Paul O’Neill.
1> Launch a pre-emptive strike against Marvin the Martian based on intelligence gathered by Special Agents D. Dodgers and B. Bunny of the CIA.
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ] [ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ]